Two Steps Forward
Posted by harlan on 09 Jun 2008 at 09:26 am | Tagged as: talking to the void
Things are going well for me. I no longer feel crippled by solitude. It seems like only a few months ago when I wasn’t able to talk to strangers — or to friends for that matter, especially because I had no friends.
When I did happen to say something, I went over the conversation in my mind for hours or days afterwards. That was torture in some cases, especially when I had lashed out.
The more people you talk to, the less significant each encounter becomes.
I’m not saying things are going perfectly. There was the restaurant encounter. By the way, I have to confess that I wasn’t really kicked out of the restaurant. I liked the idea of being kicked out of the restaurant for getting angry, but I only made a couple of snide remarks to the hostess, who didn’t understand me anyway. And then I threw down my paper napkin and stormed out. Oh, and I waited a long time for Richard and his stiff manservant. That much was true.
And then there was the encounter at the ATM. An older woman decided to take care of all her banking at the ATM. She was signing checks and filling out various deposit forms while a line formed behind her. I decided that instead of either being silent or blowing up, I would be politely assertive. Like a normal person.
“Excuse me, lady. Would you mind stepping aside and letting us go through while you apply for a mortgage elsewhere?”
“Lady? Did you just call me lady? Thank for you taking away my sexuality.”
I honestly have no idea what she meant by that. So I clammed up.
Of course, the fact that I’m writing about an encounter at the ATM instead of what happened at my sister’s last weekend probably tells you something about how well that trip went.
after this post, the complaints about your being a tease are going to get even louder! will you please stop being so vague about everything?
Perhaps you wouldn’t have made such a rude remark had you realized that the “lady” at the ATM was in fact an elderly transvestite. You should have pursued the conversation further, you might have made another friend. You don’t have any straight friends, do you?
Did your brother-in-law call you a “band fag” again?
I don’t get it.
Yup. Another teaser. You should write for Lost.
I’m guessing fisticuff with the brother-in-law, right?
Ha! Asshat, I bet we’ll find out that the ATM transvestite was actually Bertha!
“By the way, I have to confess that I wasn’t really kicked out of the restaurant.”
I called it!
And now, H has once again mentioned something that ‘he just can’t talk about’ so that he can sit back and watch everyone beg.
So typically Napoleonic.
Oof - you said the quiet part loud!
lol.. you got verbally raped by the old manlady?
come on, you getting beat up by a dude you talk S to at the parking lot.. understandable.. but you shutting down by an old manlady?!?!
I think that your comment to the lady at the ATM was perfectly appropriate. And clamming up when she responded with venom was also appropriate. For once, you responded as a normal person would to a situation. I am very proud.
By the way, I also used to go over conversations in my head for days on end. You’re right, it is torture. I got over it by becoming a bill collector and talking to 300 people a day. After a while it gets a lot easier. I am no longer a collector, but I now work with people every day, and I LOVE my job. Hopefully you will get to the same place soon. This blog seems to help.
I hope, when you are ready to share it, we get to hear what happened with your sister. I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think it was.
Her bad, not yours.
Does color affect comments?
I really liked your post. I noted that you’re more patience and calmed about your daily situations and it seems that you’re taking actions by yourself without any pressure or suggestions (including the ones you may receive here).
I believe that you’re following the happiness track
What happened with your Fedex girl?
Does this ‘happiness truck’ include lying ALL THE FUCKING TIME?
Your a screwed up mess Harlan and everybody is losing interest in this blog becasue its such bs.
SuchALiar - And yet, here you are.
Geez, Harlan, wish you had of kept the part about not being kicked out of the restaurant, as I am sure that
Lily will be preening now with the ‘I called it’.
Oh I see she has already. Not much of a surprise
there.
I must say, Harlan, you are hilarious.
Bait..Lily.
I have no problem saying I enjoy your writing Harlan.
Keep on socializing~ it does get easier.
Asshat, were you a regular on the Casey Serin episodes?
You sure sound like the same Asshat, there just can’t possibly be two of you!~
Waiting to hear what is next,and I’ll bet everyone else is too. I call that one Lily.
Jaydon
No, Jaydon, I have nothing to do with Casey Serin. I was created eponymously on this blog when Harlan called some other commenter an asshat after that commenter asserted that Harlan didn’t exist.