Before I begin the main topic of today’s post, I want to address the frustration some of you are bringing up about my being a “tease” in my last post. I am sorry. I don’t like the idea of holding back, especially with everything we did and talked about. And part of me wishes Jane didn’t know about this blog, because then I’d be able to be as open about this as I’d like to be.

On the other hand, if Jane hadn’t been reading this blog, I wouldn’t have ever been able to reconnect with her. It’s a weird Catch-22, and I’ve said too much.

Anyway, there wouldn’t be any news about Jane for this weekend even if I were able to talk about our developing relationship, because I’ll be out of town, visiting my sister for the weekend. It’s time to see whether our relationship is worth salvaging, which basically depends on her making some very obvious and factual concessions about reality and her insistence on deviating from it. I will also be prepared to make some concessions, such as that I was not entirely stable before. I’m still trying to decide whether I should make that concession in the form of an apology, or as a simple fact. To me, it doesn’t seem like I should have to apologize — it’s like apologizing for having had the measles. But I’m sure my sister will expect an apology, or at least some statement that amounts to, “Yes, you were right all along.”

Shit, I’m arguing with her already and I’m not even there. I know how this is going to end. Why am I even going? Maybe just to get it over with, once and for all.

OK, now onto my lunch yesterday with Mary. We talked about politics. I, of course, am firmly behind John McCain, because he won’t pull out of Iraq just because that’s currently the popular thing to do. I admire that kind of resolve. I also like that he doesn’t pretend like he has a solution to fix the economy (except for that gas tax holiday, which I think he was just kidding around with). Hasn’t anyone noticed that the President can’t really impact the economy? I mean, think about it: if the president could make the economy good, wouldn’t President Bush be doing so right now?

Anyway, I figured Mary would be for McCain too. Of course, with Mary, it’s not that simple.

Try to follow along. It won’t be easy.

Mary is publicly for McCain, since he is republican and she is an Evangelical. But even as an Evangelical, she has doubts about McCain. He is, she says, not a religious man. And his desertion of his first wife because she got injured, not to mention rampant adultery before and after aforementioned desertion, seem like they fly in the face of everything Mary believes in.

I told her these were the indiscretions of a younger man, and should not be counted against him. I am confident that John McCain does not cheat on Cindy. I wouldn’t, and you wouldn’t either. For one thing, she’s beautiful and I confess to having had lustful thoughts about her. For another thing, if I were her husband I would be cowed by her eyes. I suspect that those pale blue eyes are not human, but rather robotic, equipped with pale blue lasers that can set human flesh ablaze.

Mary didn’t think my joke about Cindy was funny, and remarked that Cindy wasn’t really her type anyway. I just assumed that lesbians would find the same women attractive that a straight guy does. I’ll have to take a closer look at what kind of images Mary’s hunting down during work hours.

So I asked Mary who she really wants for president. “Hillary Clinton,” she said.

My brain did a backflip.

“How is that even possible?” I asked. “She’s against everything you as an evangelical stand for, unless you buy the whole ‘working class protagonist’ bit she’s been pushing lately. Which is total bullshit, by the way, as everyone who doesn’t live in West Virginia can tell.”

“I know.”

“Is it because of her stance on homosexuality?”

“A little. Not really. I’m not coming out no matter what anyway.”

And then it occurred to me. “You’re not attracted to her, are you?”

She blushed.

So when I got back to work I tried to order a button for Mary from Hillary’s website:

out-btn2.jpg

Unfortunately, they’re no longer available.