Last Night
Posted by harlan on 04 Jun 2008 at 03:32 pm | Tagged as: marking time
After I finished my quick blog update last night, I took the time to shower, shave (for the second time that day, which gave me a little bit of a razor burn), and change into clean clothes. (I wanted to mention, by the way, that since I’ve started the Celexa, I’ve lost nine pounds. I don’t think my eating habits have changed, but I have cut back on the drinking by a lot. So I’m back into my old pants.)
And I put some condoms in my back pocket, just in case.
On the drive over, I ran through a huge gamut of emotions.
Excitement: someone I had pined over for who knows how long had finally called me and invited me over.
Ambivalence: She hadn’t called until I had resolved I was over her.
Confusion: Was I over her for real, or not?
Lust: It didn’t really matter whether I loved her anymore; if I had a chance for sex, I was definitely going to take it. As someone who has had sex with exactly one person in my life, I am not interested in passing up opportunities to add diversity to my portfolio.
Curiosity: So why was had she called me? Certainly it wasn’t to find out nitty gritty details about why I had stolen her plant.
I got there, and she opened the door before I knocked, explaining that she didn’t want the neighbors to complain about loud sounds late at night.
I noticed she was no longer wearing the sweats, and that her makeup looked fresh. She smelled good, too.
And then she asked me if she could trust me. I wonder if any person in the history of the world has ever answered “no” to that question. I doubt it, which goes to show that it’s an extremely dumb question, since a person you shouldn’t trust will answer “yes” more readily than someone you should trust.
Anyway, I told her that of course she could trust me.
She asked me if I would promise not to write about our meeting in my blog.
I told her that I was surprised she even remembered that I write a blog. She said that she’s read it a couple times.
I have to say, I really hated the idea of her reading my blog. This blog is where I come to say exactly what’s on my mind, even if there’s egg on my face at the end of the post. I’d prefer to keep my personal communication and my blog communication separate.
So I made a deal with her. I wouldn’t talk about her or about our relationship (whatever the kind of relationship it either is or may become) if she wouldn’t read my blog, so I could have a place where I could say whatever I want (except about her, of course) without worrying about whether I sound like an asshole to her.
I wish I could tell you what we talked about (and / or did), because it was pretty interesting.
Darn it!! I have been waiting all day to find out what you “did”!!
Oh you big tease, you.
I’ve read this entire blog and now must come out of lurking. This teaser is one of the worst. I can’t wait to see what asshat, lilly, ernest, dave and amy have to say…..
If I were you I’d get a video of her consenting; otherwise, I see you headed to jail. Again.
100 bucks says the truth is that ‘called to invite me over’ = ‘called to tell me she bought a gun and I better stay away.’
Another $100 says ’she opened the door before I knocked because she didn’t want the neighbors to hear and she had freshed up’ = ‘I sneaked in while she was showering.’
‘I wish I could tell you what we talked about/did’ = ‘Little H made wet spots on her bathroom floor and then I left.’
Oh Leland - I’m sorry I forgot to mention you….
I think this post is going to frustrate even the sunshine and love girls. And, if you really “did” anything (which I doubt because I suspect Leland’s translation is mostly correct) then you can bet she’ll wear out her mouse refreshing your blog to see if you ever mention anything about it here.
Even I am frustrated with this post. I think it would have been better had you not mentioned this incident at all rather than post something saying you’re not going to write about this.
Also, Bird, as far as the other commenters you mentioned are concerned, Lilly will tell Harlan he’s full of shit, Dave will agree with her, Ernest will write something long that few will read and fewer will understand and Amy will say “GO HARLAN GO.” So you really don’t need to bother to read further.
There’s no way. There’s just no way. Did you read the literature for Celexa? Sure it doesn’t cause aural and visual hallucinations?
You suck. Now I think I’m going to have to go back & read all of those Jane posts that I’ve never read before. Well, if you ever want to get laid by her, you’re doing the right thing. If you want to keep your audience, you’re not. How about you spill everything after you bang her?
BTW, I love all the conjecture on who you really are/what you make up. I prefer to just think that this is all how it really is & to hell w/everyone that thinks it’s all made up. Makes the story not as interesting to consider it artistic license or the like. I actually think that I appreciate that there are those out there that never click to see the comments. I was one of those people at one time & when I comment (this is comment #3 for me, I think) I prefer to not read before I start, although by the time I get halfway through I’ve already read a few of the posts.
Anyway… Have a nice evening & hope it went well. Now I’m off to catch up on the last few years or so. :)
You know, I think it’s a little sad that you’re no longer anonymous on your blog. If I lost my anonymity, I wouldn’t write the same way. I wouldn’t be as explicitly honest or brutally self-searching. Mostly because I know that my friends can’t handle that. If (when?) I am outed, I will move and set up shop anonymously somewhere else. If you decide to blog elsewhere, would you send me an email to let me know?
Jane, I will pay you some big bucks if you get in touch with me asap (Richard, that offer stands for you too).
Harlan,
I am glad that your evening went well. A bit of privacy is a good thing, especially in a new budding relationship. Especially with a woman who probably has a difficult time trusting you right now.
So, keep filling us in on the rest of everything, but keep your private life private. Perhaps it will result in something really good.
Brightest Blessings to you…
Does that mean you can’t tell us what you had to eat? I am happy to miss out on your shrinking drinking inventory. It would be fun to guess if a dunkin’ donut was a metaphor for sex or a silent snack to devour when the conversation lagged. Jane with cream cheese from a salmon horn on her face ….. sorry mu mind is wandering
W-T-F
Actually, this is the first post on this blog that hasn’t sounded more likely to be factual than made-up.
I think ‘Harlan’ is getting sloppy.
Damn Harlan!
What a disappointment.
Harlan: Asshat is right, Jane will refresh until the cows come home. It’s too much of a temptation.
Jane: Here are some quick tips. F5 on your keyboard = REFRESH. Or, subscribe to www.soveryalone.com at Google Reader and within a few minutes, you will know if there’s a new post from Harlan.
Harlan’s behaviour within the past few blogs has been disturbing. (Has anyone watched “He Was A Quiet Man” starring Christian Slater?)I’m getting the major heebee-jeebees after each post.
Shaving twice, condoms in the pocket “just in case”.
*SHUDDER*
ditto Ju-Ju
am glad there’s at least an ocean between me and Harlan these days however interesting, well written, original and quirky his blog is.
Shaving twice, condoms in the pocket “just in case”.
*SHUDDER*
Yup. I agree.
I’ll take the story via email, please. ecullingham@yahoo.ca.
Thanks in advance.
Yeah me too! You have my email address, I think?
Now I gotta call bullshit. Plain and simple, this is sooooo far out there. So Jane, who never wanted anything to do with you, tells you to just walk away, THEN calls you, and tells you to come over, and then something happens but you are sworn to secrecy. :)
And i see we have a few sunshine and love people, I’m taking bets on how long they last. I put the over under at 3 posts.
Joe
she did call him over “late” at night, and he said that she caked on makeup and smelled good… but, given harlan’s history, I’m sure he didn’t get any.
but who cares! he probably is making it up anyways.
I’d still like to know how the story turned out..
POOR JANE….
I think I’ll just wait for Jane to piss him off so we can hear all.
Harlan humped Jane like a jack rabbit for 1.2 nanoseconds. Then she kicked his ass to the curb.
Bleeeechhhh!
I was ready for this color change. Green was nice too.