Have I Changed that Much?
Posted by harlan on 03 Jun 2008 at 02:05 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
I mentioned that I was going to try to catch up with Jane to let her know different I am. I was amazed at the number of people who commented on this blog, saying what a bad idea that was.
I wish I would have listened. No, just kidding. The people who comment on this blog are about twice as screwed up as I used to be.
I figured, though, that since she didn’t email me telling her to leave her alone when I posted my intention to reconnect with her, it was because either she doesn’t read the blog anymore–and therefore doesn’t know how much I’ve changed–or she does read the blog and by not saying I couldn’t get ahold of her, she was tacitly asking me to get ahold of her.
I’m not sure my logic would hold up in a court of law, but I’m sticking with it.
Last night, after work, I drove up to her house and waited in my car until she got home. I waited down the street a little bit, so as not to alarm her. Then, after she had been there for about fifteen minutes, I went up to her door, knocked, and waited.
And waited.
After about two minutes (seemed like ten), I knocked again. I waited another minute, then rang the doorbell (even though I hate doorbells) a couple times.
Finally, she came to the door, looking miffed as she opened it.
Then she saw me and went from miffed to what I like to call a perfect mix of "frightened, angry, and surprised."
And right then, I realized I had made a huge mistake, for the following reasons.
First, I hadn’t thought about what I would say when I saw her. I should have had something prepared, or better yet, a whole bunch of different things, depending on how she looked.
Second, I knew as soon as I saw her eyes that she is not capable of loving me. No matter what, I will always be the strange, thieving, IT goober as far as she’s concerned. She’ll never see that I am also a man with dreams and needs.
Third, she doesn’t look like I remember her. Maybe the Celexa has cleared my mind and removed the soft-focus lens I seem to have reserved for Jane. Or maybe it’s that she was wearing baggy, food-stained sweats. Or maybe it’s that I no longer am so desperate for love that I see perfect beauty where there’s actually nothing but a woman of average height, average weight, average face, and a surprising amount of grey in the brown regrowth of her blonde, permed hair.
"Look, don’t even start," she said. "Just turn around and walk away."
"Fine by me," I replied. And I meant it. I was relieved.
So I went home, so happy that I have visited Jane’s house and discovered that I no longer give a damn about her.
It’s amazing the talent you have to fuck everything up so completely. When you said you had gotten help I was relieved, but now you are so cocky you won’t hear the advice that once proved to be right to get your medication adjusted. Listen to me, you are not OK. I don’t know you, but I, just like your other readers, know you better than anyone you know in real life, as you’d be the first to admit.
Go talk to your psychiatrist.
“The people who comment on this blog are about twice as screwed up as I used to be.”
This statement alone says you are wasting your money on the Celexa. Nothing has changed about you.
You. Are. Psycho.
“No matter what, I will always be the strange, thieving, IT goober as far as she’s concerned”
And the rest of the world. This describes you on a good day. The list of disgusting adjectives is too long to type.
You’ve even chased away the go-Harlan-goers.
Reject.
lol.. ya.. she’s been reading about your celexa rage, thats why she doens’t want anything to do with you…
it’s alright, you’re F-ing things up so you can have entertaining blog material.
Except it wasn’t very entertaining blog material.
Are those sirens I’m hearing?
You should have asked her for a plant.
Seriously, the long-awaited re-encounter with Jane should have been a little bit interesting. This post had the same level of dullness as the one about laundry methods. Could you not have dug up some shrubs or something?
:)
ahhh isn’t it great when you can just let go? it’s amazing how much burden we are used to carry, torturing us every time. im glad you are getting better and growing up.
Mandatory positive. The visit could have gone a lot worse. You aren’t sitting in handcuffs as we speak
And to answer your question yes you have changed that much
I have a great idea for you Harlan, why don’t you put a sign-up on here for people who want you to stalk them. I think there were a few people commenting on here just a couple of months ago who would like to have you knocking on their doors at all hours of the night.
Go Harlan Go!
Haran, these new balls you have are really starting to turn me on
That’s a very special thought, Amy. You are a deep thinker. The list of people who want to be stalked by Harlan in the middle of the night might be rather short, though.
Jane is awesome. I would not have opened the door…maybe call the police instead. Jane is the one with balls.
hey fucknut, have you noticed that people who defend you here in the comments don’t stick around long, but those of us who are just watching you fuck up again and again keep coming back for more?
Ever notice people watch the “news” and it’s usually not filled with good news? The day your comments change to mosty “wow Harlan, what a great guy you are, and what good life choices you make” you might start to think of yourself as not fucked up. As it stands, you are indeed the fuck up, and the best part is, you’re so fucking out of touch, you are convinced it’s all of us (people with normal jobs, wives, children, who don’t steal, and lie on a regular basis) that are fucked up. Atta boy! Keep em coming!
Joe