Thai’d Up in Knots
Posted by harlan on 02 Jun 2008 at 09:34 am | Tagged as: talking to the void
I went out to dinner on Saturday night with Richard and his new partner, who happens to be the most sober person I’ve ever met. If he were at a funeral directors’ party, he would be voted Most Depressing Person. So I’ll call him Captain Happy.
Richard and I agreed to meet in front of the restaurant, a fancy Thai place that foodies on the web rave about. The three of us arrived a few minutes before our reservation, so we chatted outside. I should say Richard and I chatted, while Captain Happy stood still with his hands behind his back, manservant-like.
Richard and I caught up quickly, reminding me of why I liked him so much. We agreed that Battlestar Galactica is the best show on television, but we disagreed on Bertha. He thinks I “completely misrepresented her” on my blog, while I suggested that perhaps he doesn’t know Bertha as well as he thinks he does. Captain Happy sniffed.
One of the things I like about Richard is that he can admit when he’s wrong. In fact, sometimes he’ll admit he’s wrong when he’s not.
The restaurant experience was miserable. First, they had no record of our reservation. I got upset, mostly because there’s not much to say other than, “But I called and made a reservation for 7:30!” The only thing you can do in that situation is to say it louder each time, which I did.
I was furious.
They finally seated us at a plain table that was right next to a table adorned with candles and flowers and elegantly folded napkins.
I asked the hostess seating us why our table wasn’t decorated. She didn’t speak good English, so it was difficult to talk to her. I think she said the other table was decorated for people with reservations, so I blew up. I demanded that napkins be brought to our table at once.
She seemed to agree, only she came back a couple minutes later with paper napkins. Like the kind you’d get at Hardees. I realized later that it was probably a misunderstanding – no one else had paper napkins – but I took it personally and got even madder.
Things went downhill from there. I don’t exactly recall what happened, but I know that I was asked several times to leave the restaurant. I shouted that I didn’t want to eat their rat-infested food anyway and stormed out, assuming that Richard and Captain Happy would join me shortly.
They didn’t. I waited outside for more than an hour before I left.
Now I regret agreeing to visit my sister. What was I thinking?
My, my. Once you were celebrating everyone’s humanness. Now you’ve got a rage problem. You’d better get that medication adjusted quickly. If you visit your sister like this, you’re likely to end up in a maximum security rehabilitation unit somewhere.
I don’t blame you for getting angry, don’t let people run over you. I am suprised Richard and Mr. Happy did not leave as well. You probably should have gotten them on you side before you went off.
haha.. awesome.. i agree with asshat, you need to get on some new meds.
what did you do for the hour you were outside? staring back at the restaurant through the window?
at this rate, i’m thininking you’ll be writing about you getting arrested in… 3 more blog entries
You are so FULL OF SHIT!
rage rating 7/10
YEAH, UM NO…. I DONT BUY THIS LINE OF BULLSHIT FOR ONE SECOND, WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THIS … NO ONE THATS WHO, YOU MAKE UP EVERY DAMN DEMENTED STORY YOU TELL.
Did you find the outburst cathartic? Or did you just feel crappy afterwards? It’s taken me several years to learn to control my temper and I’m not even sure that it’s working because I live alone and have no-one to get angry with.
About the Richard/Bertha thing, it’s commonly known that women get all crazy/emotional/paranoid/clingy/needy/insecure/insane with a man after they have sex with him. It’s likely that you’re both right about Bertha.
This post has too many cliches in it. One is the depressing “gay” man. The other is the American whose only solution to conversation with someone who doesn’t speak English is to speak English more loudly. I’m getting a sense that the blog author isn’t trying too hard anymore.
Oh come on…I don’t know you and I’ve never met Bertha, but even I know that you misrepresented her on your blog. I’m pretty sure you misrepresent most things. Case in point, this unfortunate restaurant experience. You realize that you’re not the victim here, right? No, the waitress who you decided to blow up at deserves our sympathy much more. And poor Richard. He went to dinner with you and even introduced you to his new partner, and you completely embarrassed him. No wonder he didn’t follow you out of the restaurant.
Follow these other people’s advice and adjust your meds. This behavior isn’t making you happy; it’s just making everyone hate you.
My fellow commentators, I really don’t know how to judge you, much less Harlan.
It’s only been LIKE A YEAR since he did his last post so we don’t even know WTF has been going on in order to read his behaviours.
MORE POSTS.
GRRRRRRRRRR.
K THX BYE
LOL! And he’s back folks. Buh bye Celexa!
PS…
1. I know I said Commentators, sorry, just woke up from a nap. It kinda works though no?
2. What’s with all the poker comments in the side bar?
Nice comment (after 1st 2 lines) by “just me.” Wasted, though. This isn’t that kind of blog. No point in saying anything other than Good luck with that and Looking forward to the next post!
I like being a Commentator. It sounds very distinguished.
Ah, now I kill you so hard, your grandfather die!
I fell asleep halfway through reading this post.
Just seconding the comments about changing your meds. I can understand being upset, but if you reacted to the extent you say you did, then that is out of proportion to the events. Show this post to your doctor and see what he/she says.
Too much Ambien, Amy, or another 3 marguerita lunch? Maybe you need a medication review :)
Harlan, get yourself some Depakine. It’ll help with the outbursts, and keeping friends. And not looking like a total jerk.
Based on your behavior, you’re Republican for shure.
Thank you “Harlan”. I see you really have not changed. And Mr. Happy?? I had to beg “Mr Happy” to come to dinner with you. Please do not contact me again, until you listen to the advise above. Dare I say it? I miss the old Harlan. There has to be something in between.
Take care of yourself.
“Richard”
wow…
Hey, can someone go get the people from the other blog that were so anxious to come here and hug Harlans nuts about 4 posts ago? I’d like them to see what a total fuckwad this guy is. Funny how they were all vocal here about “Oh the humanity” and have since dropped off the face of the net.
This is why we watch Harlan, the whole world is out to get you. You have the worst case of Little man syndrome I have ever seen, you have GOT to be about 5′4″ and not a hair over 140. That’s my bet, Napoleon, and I’m sticking to it. Only an undersized insecure cock would act in such a shitty way over something so stupid.
You got a seat, (lucky to have gotten one at all since they couldn’t find your reservation) and then you were pissy about fucking napkins and flowers? What a tool.
Joe
Joe, based on earlier posts, I think you guessed Harlan’s height and penis size correctly, but you badly underestimated the weight. Also, the maitre d’ probably wasn’t surprised that one of the gay threesome threw a hissy fit over the napkins and flowers.
P.A.D. is always happy to assist! Joe, Harlan said in his “About” posting that he was “a little shorter than most” (11/15/07). Of course he also described himself as “rarely - if ever - rude” (Id.). I read in answers.yahoo.com, a source of unquestionable integrity, that the average male American is 5′8″ to 5′9″. So taking him at his word on height, he’s maybe 5′7″. In his 12/30/07 post, he said he needed to lose 60 pounds. Then he lost his job and gained so much weight that
he ripped out his slacks and went to the sushi joint in sweatpants (3/8/08). I figure that was another 20 pounds, give or take, so now he’s 80 overweight. Weightwatchers.com says maximum recommended weight for height of 5′7″ between ages 25 and 45 is 153 pounds. So I estimate Harlan is 5′7″ and a little north of 230 pounds. I have no figures on Napoleon. You’re welcome.
I stand corrected :) H has Little man syndrome in a non little man body.
:)
Harlan, it’s the meds. try something else. or something in combo with the Celexa.
You are way passed any meds helping. Try a 347!
Here’s what WebMD.com says about Celexa:
“Tell the doctor immediately if you notice worsening depression/other psychiatric conditions, unusual behavior changes (including possible suicidal thoughts/attempts), or other mental/mood changes (including new/worsening anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, irritability, hostile/angry feelings, impulsive actions, severe restlessness, very rapid speech).” Hostile/angry feelings! Impulsive actions! However, if Celexa gives Harlan confidence he never had before (May 23), he probably thinks that people who suggest adjusting meds are wrong at best and jealous at worst. If he lived with someone, perhaps pressure could be applied. But he lives alone, so he’s got two problems, one of which is that he doesn’t know he has a problem. Actually, not living alone. He’s moved in with his lover — Celexa (May 23).
Come now, P.A.D., you can’t tell me that it’s pointless to tell him that he’s a jerk and then post that stuff about Celexa.
Even so, you have a point. Harlan’s not going to take anyone’s advice and he’s never going to change if he doesn’t want to, so we’ll all just stay tuned for the next episode of self-pitying insanity.
Good luck, Harlan!
same ol’ bs, do you mean a .357 ?? or maybe a .44 ??
you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya, punk?
just me, it was pointless of me to comment about Celexa. Harlan wouldn’t trust anybody’s advice on that. He needs love right now, and not from a pill.
Please don’t forget to call your sister and confirm your reservation. Be nice if you showed up with flowers. Jury’s out on house guests arriving with cloth napkins.
Oddly applicable, I’m currently teaching my 3-yr-old the “Cool” song from West Side Story. “Go man go, but not like a yo-yo schoolboy; just play it cool boy, real cool”. Snap to it, Harlan.