Sorry for not posting
Posted by harlan on 22 May 2008 at 07:04 am | Tagged as: talking to the void
I had a work emergency. As I mentioned a while back, my boss here is, in addition to my tattletale duties, asking me to build email and web tools that, as far as I can tell, already exist in the form of open source projects, giving me unprecedented amounts of free time.
Except on Tuesday afternoon, he pulled me into his office, all excited, and showed me an article he had been reading in one of his multi-level marketing guru websites about an exciting "program" that could be repurposed for spamming.
It came complete with screenshots.
So Devin has me look at this and says, "This is a lot like one of the projects I’m having you work on, but with some cool extra features. Could you add those features to the project?"
What I did not answer was, "Sure I can, because I found this utility about two weeks ago, had inserted the company logo and removed the opensource citations from the interface, and was planning on giving it to you next week, saying I had come up with a few new features you might be interested in, therefore making you think I’m the best employee in the world even though I’ve spent exactly 90 minutes actually working this month."
Instead, I said, "No problem, but some of those features may not make it into version 1.0" and then I’ve spent the past two days doing the first actual hard work I’ve had to do for this job: covering my ass. I’ve been skinning the interface to make it look completely different (and let’s face it: worse) than it used to. I’ve disabled or hidden the interface to some of the features he was excited about. Then I can add them in later.
I think I’m safe. I also think I need to start paying attention to the work-related sites Devin reads, to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
Anyway, that’s why I haven’t had time to post.
I should recap really fast what happened in that lunch with Mary, even though it’s nowhere near as fresh in my mind as it used to be.
Basically, she told me how hard it is to resolve her faith with her "animal urges," as she called them, and that she hoped I would not tell Devin either about her "devil-sent desires" nor about her "disgusting" workplace porn habit.
And I did the weirdest thing: I started laughing. I told her I was sorry for laughing, even though I was suppressing a laugh while I did it. And I told her that I didn’t really care about what kind of porn she looks at, as long as she stopped pushing religion on me. And that I didn’t plan to tell on her or anyone else in the company.
When, a second ago, I said laughing was the weirdest thing, I was wrong. What came next was the weirdest thing. She offered me her hand, and we shook. As if we had just concluded an important negotiation. If I would have thought about it, I would have suggested we spit on our hands before shaking.
And then, later that afternoon, Mary sent me an Outlook meeting: a recurring Thursday lunch meeting. I accepted. Hell, why not?
first to post
wb - again
Wow. Not really liking the red that much, but liking the change in your attitude. I suppose the site has to reflect it at some point, right? Are you going to change the name to notsoveryaloneanymore.com at a later date, too?
Haran and Mary sitting in a tree…
did you tell her about your wolf like activities?
Wolverine-in-a-dryer-like activities . . . .
Author, I’m sure it gets difficult to keep track of all the ‘facts’ surrounding Harlan, but please entertain us with when he is going to serve his time and do community service? Can you make sure Harlan spends his jail time with a cell mate who is an angry, gay, horny, ginormous man who hates lying, cheating, thiefs but loves rear entry with little weazles who cry hysterically at the drop of a hat?
Oh ya, and could you surprise us with something different with this Mary thing. This ‘animal’ fixation you seem to have is boring. Perhaps Harlan could start frequenting strip clubs and will find her there….as a bouncer, cuz she’s really Bertha, the he/she.
I would love to ask Lilly -so I will -
IF you are so bored, why do you keep on coming
back to this site ?
I think your comments are horrendous. Furthermore,
so is your spelling - (thieves not thiefs) and
(weasels not weazles)
You truly have started to sound like an old record.
I’m not bored whatsoever, just glad to have
Harlan back telling his story.
I cannot help but suggest you read something else instead of coming here with your madness - perhaps a dictionary ?
Marcelle, you’re right about the red. It didn’t take long to get on my nerves. But I was tired of the blue. So now: grey.
Wow, a post that makes you sound somewhat human. For the record, the jeezuz freak needs to hump more and pray less, she’ll find that life is much simpler and happier that way. God did after all put the parts in place, and attach approx 90% of the nerves in the male anatomy to the head of the penis.
Now all you have to do is convince Mary that she needs to do penance on her knees and you’ve got B replaced. Perhaps you can stay away from the chicken hearts this time, even if Mary doesn’t want to marry you after your spin in the dryer with her.
Joe
Is (this) Mary a virgin?
Interesting development. Go into it with an open mind and get to know her.
Blue was good. Red I didn’t like at the time. I like gray. I also like change. In the context of change, I can handle red. Do you do requests? Deep green would be nice. This is a very important comment.
Mr. H: Next stop on the mental health train? Avoiding behaviors that require ass coverage.
Glad you’re back.
Harlan, you lucky man. Seems you won’t be needing to blackmail the nun to get some action. I’m really rooting for you.
You said before that Mary had a “sad, sad story” but I don’t see why this is sad. I know a lot of Christians who have trouble reconciling their faith with “real life”. That’s not sad, that’s human. Well, maybe that is sad. Is that why you laughed at her? Because you see her as pathetic and her struggles make you feel better about yourself? Or did you find it ironic that you finally have some power over someone and it happens to be a porn-watching, Jesus-loving, female coworker? Maybe you laughed because you found her funny? Anyway, I can’t wait for next Thursday. She’s clearly your type. Requesting a standing date through Outlook? Nice.
Jaydon aka Harlan aka Author…I come here cuz I can when I’m bored at work. Thankfully, boredom at work exists or you wouldn’t have any of your 3 followers.
I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you’re reading my responses and that they are irritating the shit out of you. Success is sweet!
Ya Author, tell us why Harlan laughed in Mary’s face. Ironic how bully-ish he acts when the tables are turned. Is this how you conduct your life?
The red seemed angry to me, which doesn’t reflect in your writing. The grey, is more depressing then the blue. If you don’t mind color suggestions, how about dark green, purple or yellow?
Lilly, if Harlan was a bully, he’d be blackmailing Mary or forever teasing her about it. As it is, he just simply agreed not to tell the boss (which he could get in trouble for) and made a new friend. How’s that being a bully?
Harlans a fuck head. He laughed in the face of a woman because he felt superior. Now he will write about fucking her like a wolverine. Just wait.
When are you going to jail Harlan? Hopefully it’s not on a Wednesday.
Rpgwhore, green it is.
Jaydon, don’t worry about Lilly. “Lilly” is just the name any number of people use when they want to post something wildly unhinged. Using the name “Lilly” in a comment is just everyone’s way of saying, “I’m about to say what I think Michael Savage would say in this situation. Don’t take me seriously.”
“Lilly,” that’s a great question. I laughed because Mary’s calling her actions “disgusting” and “perverse” just sounded funny. It was like watching someone punch himself in the face. Also, it suddenly reminded me of an article in theonion.com from about 5 years ago. In it, a lesbian talks about how she’s so much happier now that she’s found religion and has “become straight,” but she keeps finding herself reminiscing about her lesbian lovers. Mary reminded me of that, and I tried to find the article so I could link to it here, but I couldn’t locate it.
Moshizzle, Mary’s story is sad, to her. She cried through about half the lunch. And abstractly, it’s sad to me, too. I just couldn’t help laughing. You’ve done the same thing. I’ve seen you do the same thing.
lilly is gay
I like the green, good choice!
I always think it’s sad when someone hates or just can’t accept something that is a part of who they are. Mary can’t accept her sexuality. Maybe you can help her in that you’ve struggled with and now come to accept being alone. And, ironically, now that you’ve come to accept it you’ll feel less lonely.
Harlan why are you talking to yourself? You’ve seen Moshizzle do a lot now that you visit her blog as Ernest.
Hmm, I wonder who Ernest will come back as?
Christian, I’m not gay…but, see nothing wrong with anyone who is.
Did somebody just suggest that Harlan could help another human being? Are you nuts? He’s too busy spying on his fellow employees, stalking women and putting organs from dead animals on their doorsteps. He’s a real helper alright.
Lilly, I hereby acknowledge that you think I am fake, and that you furthermore think that many or most of the commenters here (apart from yourself, because you are somehow different) are fake.
Could everyone else also please acknowledge that Lilly has made her point, both effectively and repeatedly, so that Lilly can feel like she can move on to a new, hopefully more interesting, line of attack?
Harlan,
I just started reading this blog a few days ago, luckily I am a fast reader.
I have not been reading the comments though as I am sure that would have taken me forever to get through.
I want to thank you for finding the courage to write the experiences in your ongoing life down to help you get a handle on them and for the courage it takes to share these same experiences you write with random strangers. I am sure that your writing this stuff down and putting it out there has been somewhat therapeutic for you, as you work through issues you have in your life.
On a side note? You are so right about therapists.
Keep up the excellent writing, you convey your story so very well.
The flame starters of your blog, well, to respond to their venom is to acknowledge that they are an intelligent being. But in reality Harlan? They are probably people writing as other people trying to work through their own issues.
As pathetic as Harlan was with his “I lie, and steal, and am dellusional about my world view, and I just can’t figure out why I’m not happy” this Mary chick is about the whole religion thing.
I get that the idea of eternal salvation, streets paved with gold, paradise, etc is a strong motivator to deny the hell out of oneself here in this life. I guess if someone promised me an eternity of my favorite thing, i might try to stomach some sort of ridiculous suffering to get there, but I just don’t buy it. Oh, and by the way, if the person telling me that all these things that science has shown to be designed into human beings (sex drive being just one of them) are things to be resisted, AND that the designer was the one who made the objects of resisting, AND that this designer loves me more than can be expressed, well I’d say either the person telling me that, or the designer them self were full of shit (if it be the designer, then I suppose it would be Holy shit, but shit none the less)
At any rate, my heart bleeds no more for the made up struggles of mary the kitty pounder with the love for God, than it did for Harlan the shoplifting lonely soul.
It’s life, people who are miserable usually are so because they want to be, in Marys case it’s due to her hoping for the big payoff (streets of gold, blah blah blah) and in Harlans case it’s due to poor decision making on a regular basis.
Mary blames the Devil, Harlan blames everyone else. Pick your poison. (though the “new” harlan does seem to be carrying less blame, maybe his smile really was in the bottom of that pill bottle)
Joe
Oh, and I like the green.
Joe
Is anyone thinking that this is a totally different writer? The tone and rhythm just isn’t the same.
I smell something fishy…
i was thinking the same thing…
Author, nice try? I could care less if you ‘hereby acknowledge what I think’. Now, if you’d acknowledge the truth about the fictitous nature of ‘Harlan’ et al…I’ll find something else to do while being bored at work.
Hugs and kisses!!
Thanks for the green. It’s a fine green.
Harlan, first, let me acknowledge that I’m fake. It’s nice to be a writing project. Second, although Moshizzle already mentioned this, I’m curious about whether you noticed any expression on Mary’s face when you laughed at her after she spilled her guts out to you about what to her must be a dreadful sin. Did she wince, frown or stare blankly? It doesn’t seem natural to me that the first thing that would cross her mind, while you were laughing at her, was to shake your hand.
I think the green is no longer pleasing me. Can you please try some other choices?
Harlan, I like the green. And it’s nice to have you back. I like that you’re replying to comments again.
Anon, the rhythm of his writing is back to what it was when he first started writing. Look at some of his old posts.
And Lilly…just go away.
I have to confess. I’m also a fake. My name isn’t *actually* Crackjob. I’m sorry to have led everyone on.
Lilly, if you are so hell-bent on an authentic autobiography, James Frey wrote a really good one…
I think that Jeff is Ernest and Lilly is Asshat
Jeff didn’t use nearly enough Latin, parenthetical clauses or drop a sufficient number of scholastic names to be Ernest, Complot. Lilly and I are not the same. My name is the eponym of my personality; Lilly’s is not.
Ernest, seriously, why don’t you come back here. Chuck apologizes for the “preening” remark and, anyway, he’s off licking his wounds after being slapped around by the Crystals and their friends.
Regardless of you being real or not, I think that you’ve definitely changed since your last post. Just don’t get down on yourself too hard if things go bad and you’ll be sweet as.
You remind me of a friend of mine who refuses to change.. but I think he might be mildly autistic. So well done!
Thanks Harlan. I see it.
Lily equals - unhinged and unwanted.
Blue is good. Can you do yellow?
fuck green, I want purple
I’m not real either. The Fat Kid is my super hero idenity - so you can understand why I have to keep my true idenity a secret.
I like the change in tone of the writing. We’re seeing the real Harlin. Congrats on the recovery. I also like the caption you’ve added to the title - So Very Alone - Just like everyone else.
About Mary - Has she cut back on her porn habit now that she knows you’re watching? At least you’ll know if she starts reading on line blogs.
FK
I love Lilly. All of them.
Just checking to see what color we are today
can you go gray today, it feels like a gray day today, or is it grey?