Not Gone
Posted by harlan on 20 May 2008 at 12:57 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
I had decided to stop writing this blog, but then today I had lunch with the weirdest person I have ever talked to. Yes, that’s right: Mary. We had lunch. And while she was telling me her sad, sad story, I kept thinking to myself, "I’ve got to tell someone about this."
And that someone, I realized, is this blog.
I’ll get to that later this afternoon, when I have time. Right now I just wanted to mention that I am sticking around.
We’re glad you’re not gone. (obviously - or we wouldn’t have been checking…)
welcome back!
Yay :)
Hey, a born again porn addict may be the next best thing to a nymphomanic who owns a liquor store.
Or not.
In any case, I’m looking forward to hearing about the dame…
Woo hoo! I’m so glad :)
Mary might actually make a good hump-night replacement for you if she’s spent enough time in sinful lust at persiankitty.com
This was a stupid post. Only an idiot would post something so that people would know he’s going to post something.
Also, this didn’t seem very creative, and your last sentence ended with a preposition, which you aren’t supposed to do.
I had hoped you spent the time off improving your writing, which is so bad that during the 6 months I’ve been reading this blog, I have often thought to myself, “Harlan’s a terrible writer. His blog is so boring. Those ‘pookey said “bo bo” today!’ blogs are written way way better.”
You know what’s also stupid? People. Yeah people are really stupid. And Harlan’s a person, so he’s stupid too.
And you know what’s even stupider? I don’t, ’cause Harlan’s the stupidestest thing I’ve ever read. I mean for the love of GOD, I ‘d rather spend my time watching the Kardashian Sisters. Talk about sophisticated, real, and creative! Those girls got REAL talent.
Oh, I just thought of something even stupider: people who disagree with me. They are the stupidest. So, if you aren’t stupid, then you’ll agree with me.
“stupidestest”. Nice. “Hey Pot, Leland called and he said you’re black.
Welcome back!
Leland, I neither agree nor disagree with you. I just think you’re a moron.
Leland, you’ve called me stupider for the last time this afternoon, so my only comment for now is that maybe I’ll comment more, later. But first I’m going to write volumes on my new blog with exciting graphics and a bunch of recycled Youtube clips, “Pookey Wept.”
I haven’t read the other comments, I just wanted to say Hi Harlan. I’m glad you’re sticking around.
I found your blog and read right through
including comments.
Some people came via Crystal (who is a gem)and
I’m sure some will stay. I hope everyone ‘plays’ nicely,
although the personalities of the regulars do shine
through and I do enjoy the comments if they are
constructive criticism, although I’m wondering about my
sense of haha lately.
I despise the dynasty of Walmart however, advocate not
stealing. I do hope, as I do for everyone, that you
have some consistent happiness, and join in the others,
to say that Bertha is not particularly good, well, for
anyone:) I really do come with good intentions and think
that your life definitely could be exactly as you
write
If this is fiction, if it’s not, I’m loving what you’re
writing, and that’s what counts, and more importantly
I’m looking forward to the fairy tale ending - you know,
like Rindercella meeting her Chince Parming ?
Nice to meet you and me, and everyone else, Harlan.
Katey
already - I didn’t read the other comments today is what I missed there.
Phew.
See the talent in writing and why I don’t have a blog,
Harlan ?
:)
Congrats on your award, too.
I’m just hoping that you’re happy you’re not a secret anymore.
Okay now I’ve read the comments.
- I remember reading Nancy Drew as a young girl and I loved the cliffhanger end of chapters, where
I couldn’t wait to find out what was next.
I’ve seen excellent writers, as an adult, do the same
thing.
C’mon ‘ lunch with Mary ‘ ? and you’re not going
to refresh later.
I call b.s. to that.
Can hardly wait Harlan. although I’m at my personal comment quota , I can still hit refresh.
B.S. has been called. We await a ruling from the referees.
I am really glad you sticking around. I really do enjoy your posts, good, bad or indifferent.
You have to have to grow a thick skin when it comes to the trolls on the board.
But its worth it to communicate and connect with the others. We are all real people and we all like to be connected, is safe here in the blogosphere.
THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING YOUR BLOG!
Cool. Glad you are back.
***Leland, if the writing is so bad, why the hell have you been reading it for 6 months. You’re the idiot.
rock!
“Leland, if the writing is so bad, why the hell have you been reading it for 6 months. You’re the idiot.”
The main reason I stopped comenting here is that someone always says EXACTLY what I was going to say before me. Thank you ikhan.
Yeah, Leland. Face it- if you didn’t like this blog, you wouldn’t keep coming back here.
and welcome back, Harlan. We’ve missed you!
Glad you’re going to continue writing. Did you just add the “which is better than the alternative” to the top of your page? I never saw that before….new outlook?
Exclamation point, too!
HARLAN!!!!!!! I’m so glad you’re back!!!
H, some of us on the east coast need our beauty sleep. Are you going to make me bleary eyed and non-functional for school tomorrow? Also, I like the sentiment with the ! and the subtext but I think it breaks up the aesthetic of the header. Maybe a lighter shade of blue for the subtext and a different font?
The kicker, “which is better than the alternative,” sounds to me too much like an ad for Pepsi or Tide.
Wow this is a real shock. NOT!
Jesus Mary? I told you she could be the next one!!
Hey, I like that! You’re paraphrasing me ;)
Maybe you should stop writing about your relationships (B, Jane) and start focusing on other stuff. This will give you a break and the chance to analyze your feelings in private.
This Blog could turn into place where you can tell us about your daily experiences. I personally prefered the posts where you don’t refer to B or Jane.
yay! Welcome back :) Can’t wait to hear your story!
YAY!!! See I knew you needed this blog…
“Yes, I’m alone, but then again, I always was. As far back as I can tell I think maybe it’s because; because you were never really real, to begin with. I just made you up to hurt myself.”
lol. Nice colour change.
That’s better.
Author, way to make drama. Much like any middle school aged child would.
Red is way more fitting to your psychotic personality.
Welcome back H! Digging the new look.
Well I’m curious now. Welcome back, some day you might get pissed off or see a great flick and want to tell someone, so its always to keep your blog around.
People can stick it in their reader so they don’t keep coming back to look for you.
I see red
it hurts my head
guss it must be something
that I read.
Ernest?
I had to stop reading the comments after the 10th (ish), why do people find it so difficult to abide by, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”?
Glad you’ve decided to stick around blogland!
I’m sure that Ernest is Harlan. In deed, Ernest didn’t write any comment when Harlan decided to quit.
Everybody is Harlan..
Asshat, I look forward to criticizing your new blog.
Is your blog going to be about doll-collecting where “cute” comprises 38% of the words used?–’cause that would be way better than Harlan’s bland descriptions.
Actually, Leland, I was going to call it “Pablum, Piercings and Anal Glands.” It was going to be the story of a courageous single mom who raises an infant and a rebellious teenage daughter while supporting herself as a dog groomer. The whole purpose of the blog would be to allow me to ask for donations after my main character got nipped by a yorkshire terrier, developed a fur phobia and was unable to work for obvious psychological reasons. Of course, I soon realized that people would expect something more than a bunch of youtube clips and exciting graphics and that I know nothing about dog grooming or the daily hardships faced by single mothers. So I abandoned the idea, until you mentioned “pookey said ‘bo bo’ today.” As you can tell, I still need to work out the details, but cute dolls might just be the ticket.
Write your blog for you. Don’t fret/worry about what anyone says. This space, this pocket is *not* about how mean everyone else can be to you….but how much you can figure out what’s going on inside of you. You started this for a good reason, and honored us (the internet blogger readers) with sharing your struggle. Hang in there, it will get better. There is someone great out there for you…and you will find her. The world is better for having you here.
Asshat, no one would believe a blog about a single mother trying to raise her kids. Besides, no one really cares about kids, and single mothers generally deserve what they got, so there’s not much sympathy there.
If you’re going to solicit donations, I think a good idea would be to pose as a recently released (wronly accused, of course) sex offender, who is trying to raise money to sue the “victims.”
You’re right, Leland, those single moms and their kids are a bunch of lazy chislers, aren’t they? Who the fuck cares what happens to those losers. But posing as a recently released sex offender might come the the attention of the FBI during one of my annual security checks and do harm to me in my position as a high-ranking official in the Bush administration.
Anyway, I’ve got some great ideas for exciting graphics from Harlan. Did you notice the RED?! Also, I plan on ripping off some of Moshizzle’s more eloquent and wise quotations and sticking them all over the place.
Oh good grief Leland. Most trolls are a little less obvious than you are. You should work on that.
Damned FBI. They’re always sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.
Red? Oh yeah, I thought something looked different. It reminds me of eating at the “wock and roll” restaurant in Mclean, Va.
Ah, yes. Love their eel rolls.
Just don’t order the “triple delight.” I thought that meant you got chicken, shrimp, and pork.
Turns out the triple delight is puking, squirting, and then puking and squirting a fluid the same color as Harlan’s blog. A real triple threat.
Becks, thanks for the tip, but I’ve got to play to my strengths.
A triple threat here in Psycholand would be Mary, Jane and Bertha which would lead to all of the squirting that Leland has described albeit, prematurely with all three women unsatisfied, pissed off and running for the hills.
Ha ha! I meant to say ‘triple delight’, but typed ‘triple threat’…I must have been channeling what the women would call this encounter.
Aw, man, that’s heartless! The other blogs I read have not satisfied me today, and now you do THIS to me. Get to typing, Mister!
Leland is Harlan. Harlan is Leland. I am certain of this.
Oh gawd, I hope yer wrong Old Woman.
That makes me happy… Glad you’re back!