Anticipation
Posted by harlan on 02 May 2008 at 10:28 am | Tagged as: talking to the void
If I were on an airplane that started to rock violently and shutter and plummet, my first thought would be, “Damn! I’m not going to get to see The Hobbit movies!”
Not that I’m entirely sold on Guillermo Del Toro. I watched Pan’s Labyrinth to test his bona fides, and I’ll just say this – he’s no Peter Jackson. He’s not even Sam Raimi. Still, the fact that we’ll have Peter and Fran and Philippa doing the storyboarding and scripting means we’re in safe hands. Plus, Sir Ian McKellen will be back as Gandalf, along with Andy Serkis as Gollum. I’m not sure who should play Bilbo – Ian Holms will be 80 by the end of filming – my choice is Martin Freeman. He looks like a hobbit.
I have two other concerns.
First, I hope they make the first movie using the complete story line from The Hobbit and the second movie about what happens between The Hobbit and LOTR. I don’t want two movies with a mish-mash of true and fabricated plot lines.
Second, I hope they remain faithful to the tone of The Hobbit. Unlike LOTR, The Hobbit is a children’s book. It’s not nearly as dark. I’m concerned that Del Toro will add too much violence and horror. The Hobbit shouldn’t have any impalings or beheadings. If I have a son or daughter soon, I want to be able to watch this movie over and over with them when they’re still toddlers and not wait until they’re teenagers.
Speaking of future children, I am still composing my love letter. Actually, that’s not exactly true. I have writer’s block. I keep typing sentences that are supposed to be sincere, like ”Beloved Bertha, toucher of my heart, kisser of my lips,” and then I turn it into parody. “Lover of my loins.”
And then I delete the whole thing and start over. “Dear Bertha, You have touched me in a way that no one else has.” And then more parody followed by Command-A, Delete. I’m obviously taking the wrong approach. To put it in terms that my new boss would understand, I need a reset meeting.
The love letter in Atonement seemed to do the trick. I think he wrote “In my dreams I kiss your sweet, wet cunt.”
Try that.
Amy, sometimes you surprise me, you sly romantic.
Hey, here’s a fun fact: my cousin (a CG expert) created the Balrog* in the first LOTR movie. He moved down to New Zealand and worked with Peter Jackson. He got to keep the Best Visual Effects Oscar in his home for a week.
(*flaming monster-guy that “kills” Gandalf at the end.)
I am not a geek.
…
I AM NOT!
Amy, was it good for you?
Man, you almost succeeded at escaping reality for a moment, but you had to bring it back with “future children.” Did you have to throw that “soon” in there? Gag. Stop writing the letter. First of all, it sounds way over-the-top in cheesy insincerity. Secondly, you’ve got your Wednesday nights, and that’s all you’re ever going to get. If you’re looking for something more, dump Bertha (please dump her anyway), and go find someone who actually likes you.
Bertha the old woman that lives in a old man shoe
I wonder if Bertha looks like Frodo?
Harlan, I have received some really touching love letters in my life, I should be able to give you some hints. but I am not, because Bertha doesn’t deserve any.
Hmmm… Looks like you could use a little boost with that letter, Harlan. They say to write what you know. Would it help to get you started? Something like this might work:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and height and girth
My soul can reach, transcending Middle-earth,
Beyond hallowed fellowship protecting the ring
And the ultimate power it surely doth bring.
I love thee with greed, like Gollum grotesque;
I love thee like fantasy, indeed Tolkienesque.
and so on.
Then again, maybe not. I’d hate to think of poor Lizzie Browning rolling in her grave — or Boromir in his, for that matter.
*applauds Ernest*
If they stay faithful to the tone of the Hobbit, they’ll sing us all to death.
And E, my eyes rolled back into the back of my head and it exploded.
Amy,
I’ll be flying the Lear into your area later this month. Maybe we can get together for a quick flight to Seattle and dinner at Canlis. You can check them out here http://www.canlis.com/
FK
(Harlin, That’s how its done)
FK, if Amy accepts, you better have a quick explanation about why you’re driving the Budget Rent-A-Car to Applebee’s rather than flying the Lear to Seattle.
True story. I once stayed a night in the house in Wellington that Peter Jackson shot the interior scenes for ‘Bad Taste’ in.
Never met the man myself, though.
I would be less harsh in *my* statements about Pan’s Labyrinth. I thought it was very well executed. Del Toro, I suspect, is an excellent choice to direct The Hobbit.
Harlan,
I know the feeling of writers block, visited Elen’s blog, the sad news with regards to Susan, I can’t put words into feelings.
Ian
Yeah I read the news too - I wish I had a great cancer survivor story for Elden, I can’t imagine how he feels. Especially with four kids at home.
It’s really sad. I’m sure it helps to know that so many care, but it’s such an awful thing for that family to have to go through.
The Fat Cyclist and I have had our differences, but that’s heartbreaking news.
ditto, sad feelings re Elden and Susan’s horrendous news. Harlan, you are duty bound to keep up amused with tales of your tragi-comic relationship with big bad Bertha……or at least hit on the fed ex woman…..