Meeting the Friends
Posted by harlan on 12 Apr 2008 at 06:03 pm | Tagged as: marking time
I just assumed that B. and I would be going out last night. I mean, we’re in love. Of course we’d want to be together. So maybe I took her time for granted when I called Friday afternoon. “How about we go back to that great pizza place tonight?” I asked. And then, I assumed, back to her apartment for sex!
Assumed, assumed, assumed.
“I’m sorry, Harlan, but I’ve got other plans tonight; I’ve had them for a while,” Bertha said.
“Oh, OK, no problem,” I said, even though it was a huge problem. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing special. Going out with some friends from work. But one of them’s my manager, and it wouldn’t be good for me to change plans.”
There was something about the way she said it. The way she said “Nothing special” very slowly, with a pause before she continued, like she was stalling while she made up her story.
“I didn’t ask you to change plans,” I said.
I was being mean on purpose. I’ve been ditched enough times that I know when it’s happening. And I knew for sure that’s what was going on, because she didn’t acknowledge the slight or engage in a fight. She was too busy being relieved she was off the hook without additional questioning.
The only question is one I am afraid to ask her: who does she prefer over me?
Anyway, this morning I called her up and she said she had plans again for tonight. “Do I need to make reservations a week ahead now?” I asked.
“Don’t be an asshole,” she said. “I’m going out with some friends from my book group tonight. You’re more than welcome to join if you like.”
“Great. What time should I come by?” I asked. I knew she hadn’t expected me to take her up on it. What guy in the world would want to go with a bunch of women, all who know each other, when he knows only one of them?
“Come by at 5:45. We leave at 6:00.”
So I’m about to meet B.’s friends over dinner. I leave in half an hour. Unless I decide to kill myself first.
oh H. what did you get yourself into??
Good Luck!!!
Killing yourself might be the less painful choice. You’ll be on display to all the ladies which will make you cringe. It will be a rough mixture of boredom and social unease. People will do anything for the possibility of some sex, I guess. Can’t blame you.
Did Amy double your pay for this weekend post?
Maybe she’d prefer somebody who carves a bigger hole in his pumpkin after her encounter with Little Harlan.
Go Harlan Go! I bet you have a great time.
What book?
You do realize that meeting/hanging out with a girlfriends friends is one of the most boring things you can put yourself through. Your going to be put on display and there going to judge you the whole night and ask a lot of questions. Have fun.
Just so you know, it is good manners to ask a girl out about 3 days in advance.
I think meeting the Austen fans can be interesting. You could even discover that you’re an Austen fan yourself. Harlan just one thing: don’t chase B. otherwise she’ll feel over-desired and find it fun to run away from you.
Yikes book club friends? I bet none of them like Lord of the Rings.
You do realise you’re being a little clingy?
I made that mistake once. Almost exactly the same situation, except without the sex.
The girl in question ended up cheating on me and buggering off with someone else with a face like a flattened cod.
Good advice Sol.
“I mean, we’re in love.”
This sounds so blasé and odd…and yet B wants nothing to do with you for the next two nights. I think if the feelings were mutual, you’d be humping like bunnies at every chance.
Something is fishy and again, it’s coming from B.
I have to agree with Ju-Ju. A lady in love cannot stand to be away from her man & would gladly cancel most anything to do it.
Oh please. It’s not possible that she actually did have plans that didn’t include Harlen? It’s not likely at all that B is slightly more social then Harlen? I’m in love with my man too but that doesn’t mean I don’t let him hang out with his fellow grad students without me once in a while.
B, were she real, is just a more independent and interesting person than H. H wants to subsume himself in her. He’s going to fast and he’ll smother her until she runs away. She’s already aware that he’s like that, obviously.
Run, B!!!!
Yah but rpgwhore…when you’re in the excitement of those first few times, the throws of passion, the heat of new sex, the butterflies, the never-ending make-out sessions and all that lovey-dovey crap, IMO there’s usually nothing that can keep me away! B’s sounding like she’s been in the relationship for 6 months now! Something’s not right here - with B.
Does anybody else think that Harlan’s just a rescue project for Bertha? Maybe she felt a twinge of sympathy for him when she saw him crying in his sweatpants, covered with her puke. He probably looked like a pitiful, hurt little boy. What woman could resist?
The advice she’s given him isn’t really any different from the “buck up, buddy” advice his sister would give him; she’s just expressed it in psycho-babble. She really despises everything he likes, including his taste in movies and books. There’s no mutual attraction. The fact that she gave him a miserable sympathy fuck means nothing. As soon as Harlan stops acting like a passive project and starts pursuing Bertha, she’s going to run like hell.
Chuck, then how would you explain all the “open your heart to me” B. gave Harlan? I don’t know.
Anyways… I’m waiting for H. to be back and tell all.
It’s just part of the rescue. She’s correctly decided that he’s too self-protective and needs to be more open. It doesn’t mean that she particularly feels anything for him other than sympathy. It certainly doesn’t mean she’s in love with him.
Mmm. She could be one of those very independent girls, she might like swinging, or taking you for granted, or not in love with you. You dont have to love someone to have sex with him. You should get to know her, you seem to be in love with a stranger.Getting an imaginary date works wonders when you need the attention of your gf/bf too. Good luck
Chuck that is a bit stretched. And I’m not talking about any bodily orifices. I’m talking about your theories.
Yeah, Sol, maybe it is divine love. But do you want to bet?
Being blatantly ditched by a sasquatch who fucks like a wolverine on crack and then inviting yourself to her blook club = absolute humiliation
Even in fiction, it’s tough to witness such pathetic insecurity.
Dating = absolute humiliation
Desperate attempts to obtain validation from others = absolute humiliation
Overwhelming need for attention, company and physical contact = absolute humiliation
Unrequited love = absolute humiliation
Complete isolation from other people = significantly decreased probability of absolute humiliation
Therefore, dating, relationships and love are crap.
QED
Thinking that meeting the Jane Austen fans might be interesting = absolute crap.
Well that depends. If the Jane Austen fans are like me, then it could be amazing.
I’m sure meeting you would be amazing, Sol. But Harlan already has said that Jane Austen bores him. His thing is science fiction and computer games. He has no idea how to conduct an unstructured conversation with strangers. How likely is it that he’ll find this meeting interesting and how likely is it that Amy’ll win her bet that Harlan will have a great time?
Asshat, call me an idealist but I think people are entitled to changing their minds.
Asshat, I don’t think that everyone appreciates your particular brand of humour. I, however, continue to laugh my pants off despite being a Jane Austen fan.
rpgwhore
I should clarify. What I meant to say, Ju-Ju said for me.
I have been married for 13 years but I am not even sure we went to work for the first 3 weeks we were together.
Blog author, give us more!
Chuck, I think you’re right on the “project” thing. Poor Harlan. Maybe B found the blog. It’s coming! It’s in the storyline! Count your syrup packets!
It’s coming none too soon, ConGypsCo.
Harlan, you know I love to cheer you on. You know I do. But I have to say I agree with a couple of the jackasses who posted comments this time.
When two people are in love, they want to be with each other as much as possible and right now it is clear that B isn’t in love.
I’m still pleased that you are, but I want to protect you. In fact, if I could, I would kick B’s ass for not taking better care with you!
I hope for the best for you. Please protect your heart.
Sol, unless you’re a genetic female with 32gg ‘all naturals’ and a 26 inch waist, I don’t think meeting you would be amazing.
Harlan, how I wish I could have read your post and given my advice before you went, but alas I lack dedication. I would have advised you to go, take flowers, and talk about any part of the book (it was a book, right?–it wasn’t just a movie?) and cry like a baby while describing it.
If I could see Amy kick Bertha’s ass I’d be the happiest man alive.
Leland, Sol’s got her picture on her website. Meeting her might not be amazing, but it’d be interesting.