Apparently, I created some confusion in yesterday’s post, so I thought I’d clear up matters by answering your questions. 

Wolverines in a dryer?

Now that I look back on it, it’s possible that I was exaggerating. If someone were watching us through a window, I doubt “wolverines in a dryer” would have come to mind. After all, B. was on top of me and we weren’t exactly tearing at each other or even changing positions. The thing is, my heart was tumbling inside my chest, and for a brief moment I felt like a wild animal, so I’m sticking to it.

Was it her vajayjay that smelled like fish in and old shoe?

I need to be more careful with language. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that B. had a little bit of light brown hair on her arms, and some of you guys act like she’s Sasquatch.

When it was over, I smelled a pungent odor that took me by surprise, though not in a bad way. We were both sweaty and sticky, which took me off guard. I just didn’t express it well. So please stop telling me that B. needs to see the gynecologist. The bedroom did smell a bit like a men’s locker room in the aftermath, but there’s nothing wrong with her “hoohoo.”

Why would you feel the need to lie and tell us you bought XXL condoms?

I wasn’t lying. Do we have to go over this again? I admitted — to my everlasting shame and torment — that I am not well-endowed. Yes, I bought the XXL condoms, but I didn’t use them, nor will I ever use them, unless I develop a case of elephantitis. In fact, that wasn’t the first time I’ve bought XXL condoms. When I’m feeling particularly insecure, it makes the checkout experience more tolerable. 

I used Lifestyle Snugger Fit condoms. (Don’t be mislead. The condoms aren’t for smaller penises. They just offer a tighter fit. See?) No, I didn’t buy them, nor will I ever buy them. Admitting that I use Snugger Fit condoms on an anonymous blog is one thing; buying them from a store in front of real people is a whole different matter.

WHAT HAPPENED to the camping mattress?

It’s still in its package. I have no use for it whatsoever. A few months ago, I would have picked up a tent and sleeping bag soon afterwards to create a matching set, but I really feel like I’m changing as a person.

Love?

Yes! I don’t want to fight this feeling.

Ok and now I can’t stop laughing at all these comments. the readers are so much better than the author!

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

censorship: alive and rampant at soveryalone.com

I assume the commenter named “maybe” thought I deleted his comment because he didn’t see it right away. I also assume he was referring to the previous “maybe” comment  that says, “she almost got fucked in the ass.”

I have a question for you, “maybe” — Why would you be upset if someone deleted that comment? Did you spend a lot of time coming up with that line? I can only speculate. Maybe it started as “I really think that that woman damn near got butt penetrated by you, guh!” And then you used your superior editing powers to trim it down to its current lean state. After your time-consuming composition efforts, you looked to admire your brilliant comment, couldn’t find it, and concluded that I deleted it. Is that what happened?

As I mentioned in comments, I haven’t stopped a single comment from coming through. Have no fear, your first amendment rights are protected here at soveryalone.com.

The only time I’ve ever blocked comments is when people pretend to be someone they’re not. If someone is posting as Richard or B. or my sister, I don’t want other readers thinking people in my life are really making those comments. I’m especially concerned for Richard because he may be reading this blog. (Hi, “Richard”!)

Comments by people like “maybe” really don’t bother me. You’d think they would, but I’ve spent so much time on the web over the years that I know you can’t take flamers personally. For whatever reason, people just love to jump on the Internet and fling insults. I used to do it myself. The only time a comment has hurt my feelings is when someone criticizes me in a thoughtful way that’s at least partially right. That drives me nuts.