Irrational Exuberance
Posted by harlan on 24 Mar 2008 at 03:51 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
Things have not been going so well for me on the financial front. If I wanted to be hard on myself, I might suggest that putting one’s head in the sand isn’t the best way for one to get out of financial trouble. Online bill paying is causing all sorts of crazy bank charges, and, well, I don’t want to get into it. Let’s just say that various collection agencies have taken an interest in my goings-on, and we’ll leave it at that.
Yes, I drink Maalox straight from the bottle.
There is no way I’m going to ask my sister for money. And I’ve re-learned my lesson about having any contact with my shithead brother. You know how you can picture exactly what a person is going to say about something and what he’s going to look like while saying it? Well, I know exactly what my brother would look like when he says, “compounded daily.” No. Thank. You.
I called Richard the other day to see if he wouldn’t mind lending me some money. He seemed strangely distant even before I asked him about the loan. He acted as if we were old friends from high school who hadn’t spoken to each other in ten years. Yeah, Harlan, sure. How are . . . things?
So far, B. is the only person who’s willing to help me in a time of need. She loaned me enough money last week to get me out of trouble with the bank. Since $500 wasn’t enough to help me for more than a week or two, I played online poker. I doubled my money a couple of times and then lost big in a bad beat. Fortunately, I didn’t lose it all like the time I cashed out of my 401(k). This time, I ended up breaking even, or maybe losing a few dollars. Still, that money is almost all gone now.
I’m tempted to ask B. to borrow some more money, but I don’t want to strain our relationship. Besides, I’ve got a couple other irons in the fire, including the Mac. I’ll ask B. for money again only if I’m desperate.
Seriously? You played online poker with Bertha’s money? I’m trying not to judge but it’s so hard right now. Perhaps now is a good time to look into selling your body. It’ll be fast work.
Dude you are so full of crap. I’ve read better bargain romance books from K-mart.
Is this the introduction to where you now post the Paypal button for donations?
I find it odd that someone barely knowing you would loan you an amount of money close to $500- or did you claim that was your dry cleaning bill for her puking all over you?
A person you barely know digs you out of financial trouble right around the same time you decide she’s not so bad to date.
Whoever nominated you as the Best Kept Secret should have left you in the corner.
I guess we know now why Bertha’s not so bad. And, I got to hand it to you. You’re the only virgin gigolo I’ve ever heard of. Poor Bertha should have gotten a little more action for her money, eh?
Dude, I can smell chapter 7 on you from here. Cashing out the 401-K was stupid. You need to do some exemption planning. Sell the mac and eat the proceeds before the bankruptcy trustee, and not Bertha, comes through the door.
OK, I’m having more and more trouble believing you. Surely you aren’t that stupid? It’s a TRAIN WRECK, I tell you!
Good idea. create a paypal account and have people give you money.. worth a shot..
Damn, man, everyone knows you don’t cash in your 401K.
What you do is call your mom, your dad and uncles and cousins and shame them into cashing in *their* 401Ks for you.
Hey, with the way the economy is going down the toilet you probably got more use out of your 401K than most of us will.
Harlan, I think you need to ditch Bertha and find Jesus. (I’m ducking now, go ahead and stone me).
Yeah, find Jesus, he will probably lend you more money than Bertha.
if you’re desperate?
IF?
buy a fucking clue.
I really hope you are making it up that you borrowed money from B and then LOST it playing poker. Because if that is the truth then you are either mentally ill, stupid, or criminally irresponsible. Or maybe all three. I really have a hard time believing you would do something so stupid. You are fairly articulate which does indicate a modicum of intelligence. Hence my difficulty believing you would do something so ridiculous. To borrow money from someone then lose it gambling. I can’t even comprehend such a thing. And how insulting to B to throw her hard earned money down the toilet like that. Anybody knows you never ever gamble when you really need the money. Gambling is recreation, not a way to earn a living. Jesus weeping Christ, I’d like to see B’s face when you tell her you just pissed her money away instead of paying the bank.
Harlan, you really piss me off. So I’d rather believe you are a big fat liar than a criminally stupid bad gambler.
The kind of karma you are racking up here Harlan is going to cause you to come back as a cockroach. You can’t be any lower form of life than to borrow people’s money and burn it at online poker. You’re getting good practice for cockroach life. But hey, maybe you can live in that pizza place munching on leftover pizza that the humans have disposed of. Bon appetite.
Harlan, it scares me that there are so many haters in the world. Why do you leave your comments open? If my comments looked like this I would close them or screen them at least.
I hope you will figure out something better than what you just wrote that you are doing about your finances but otherwise I’m still cheering you on.
Actually, I read a description of how someone got out of debt in 3 or 4 months once. It sounded really crazy, but she did it. Basically she sold ALL of her stuff, lived out of her car and worked all the time when she wasn’t asleep - I think she had at least one job at a restaurant. Her only bill was a gym membership - that’s where she showered and changed every day. She ate at work I guess so with zero expenses she got out of debt very fast.
There you go, Harlan.
You can get B. to sell all of her stuff, live in her car and work every waking hour to help you pay down your debts.
Perhaps you could even be gracious enough to let her live in your car.
Hell, let Amy skip a few meals at Cafe Sebastienne and send you the cash. She’s your greatest fan.
Get off your ass and get away from the computer. Humble yourself and go and work at wal-mart and quit being a freeloader.
Amy, I do not hate Harlan. I am simply disgusted by his behavior. You can condemn the behavior but not the person. Harlan is getting himself neck deep in serious problems that are not going to be solved by thinking happy thoughts and scattering moonbeams.
Wow! I was here just nine minutes after God. If I had only been a little earlier I could have gotten some of those really thorny questions answered. What a missed opportunity.
Yeah, Jaxon. Too bad He doesn’t have a blog. Amy could learn a thing or two from God.
Hello,
I’ve just popped along here because you got the most votes at some awards thingy for the blog which was the ‘Best Kept Secret’.
Isn’t this an oxymoron ?
Good luck with the money and all the best (I wouldn’t rely on poker to help you though),
Ian TB
x
I agree with Blah Blah Blah…
Dude, this blog is sucking more and more. It’s just too hard to believe.
Hey, tomorrow go do some pay day loans. That will spice things up. oh wait, you don’t have a job. Hmmm, get a job tomorrow and then do Pay Day Loans. Nice.
Yeah, ask Amy for money; she seems to like you quite a bit. Is this project turning out the way you imagined?
AMY IS BERTHA!
H, just remember…all the money you’re taking from Bertha is probably what she would be using for fur-removal and Jenny Craig.
Oh Ya…H, let Amy in on the secret of this blog so that she doesn’t continue to make a total ass out of herself.
You owe it to her because THIS IS A RELATIONSHIP!
You are screwed.
Hey Amy: tough crowd here, don’t take it per-ver-sonal.
Harlan. Get working, stat. While you’re lining up the new tech gig, take any ole job - flip a burger, fold pants, stock shelves, pour coffee, whatevah. Give yourself a routine, get away from the keyboard, see more humanity (even if its largely retched) on a daily basis. Nothing more motivating than a crappy job, and the cash influx can’t hurt.
No more money from B, still too new a relationship. Subject yourself to the fam-dam, tell ‘em lies if you have to, but no more money from B.
Oh come one, who on this blog hasn’t borrowed money from a girlfriend/boyfriend and then blew it on pot, whores, gambling, or hare chrishnas?
Leland, I’m cheering for you!!!
Go, Leland, go!!!
H, you now have to tell Fran the truth, too. Or are these ‘chicks’ really you? I can’t imagine any real person falling for this shit.
No offense Harlan, cuz this blog is responsible for some of the best laughs I’ve had in a very long time!
GO H!
Harlen people have relationships options- like tv channels- channels to watch, people to spend time with. Wealthy attractive people are like complete cable package, they have lots of options. More homley people, like myself, are like basic cable. Be careful Harlen that you might not pick up that many channels. You are a UHF guy there might not be anything else on
Dammit Leland, I was having such a great day until you reminded me why is it that I’m sure i’m going straight to hell….
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