Big Date Tonight
Posted by harlan on 21 Mar 2008 at 01:42 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
B. and I are going out again tonight. I’m not sure whether it’s our third, fourth, or fifth date. I’m keeping some lead in the pencil just in case B. declares tonight to be the night. I’m pretty sure we’re going to a movie.
Some of you have written comments that make it sound like B. is a fat hairy hag with a pud. I don’t know whether you’re feeding off each other or if you’re basing it on whatever I’ve written about her. Let me assure you that if you are basing your wild notions on my descriptions, I haven’t adequately expressed myself. B. is a kind-hearted woman who is attractive in many ways. Yes, he is a bit overweight. If she lost 30 pounds, her ribs still wouldn’t be sticking out, but it’s not like she’d have to be buried in a piano case if she died. And yes, she does have some brown hair on her arms, but it’s not noticeable unless you’re looking at her arms. And she doesn’t have any facial hair. As to her having male genitals, that’s just dumb.
I’m actually enjoying our relationship. I was thinking that having someone else in my life might be overwhelming after spending all of my adult life alone, but I’m getting used to it. As I work with her to develop my ability to unlearn fear and accept love, it’s only expected that I would prefer being alone than with her. I need to work on that. I need to learn to prefer being with B. than being alone. Anyone can give up. Holding it together when everyone else expects you to fall apart is the mark of true strength.
“Yes, he is a bit overweight”
So was that a fantasy or a freudian slip?
“Yes, he is a bit overweight.”
“He”? Another typo for Dr. Freud or are you being prescient?
Gosh, Lilly, you beat me to it.
I don’t agree with the last paragraph, it sounds like you’re trying to train yourself to be someone you aren’t. It’s ok to like being alone. It’s also ok to prefer being alone then with someone you just don’t like. Now, if you really like B, that’s fine and I’m not saying that you don’t. But it sounds like you’re forcing yourself to like her just so you either won’t be alone or because everyone around you says it’s unhealthy.
B. is a kind-hearted woman who is attractive in many ways. Yes, he is a bit overweight>>>
**********
Asshat and Lily, I saw that too, now you know that’s not a coincidence!
Harlan is backpedaling because he is desperate. She lumbers, for Christ’s sake.
I wish I could warn her to stay away from him.
If I were Harlan, I would realize that since Richard reads this, it’s HIGHLY possible either B. does, too, or Richard will tell her things.
Richard: If you are reading this, warn her please. Harlan’s a liar who just wants to fuck her.
I don’t think Harlan just wants to fuck her. I think he just doesn’t want to be alone, there’s a difference. From what I’ve read, I think both of them are clinging to each other out of desperation, not love or mutual attraction. I just hope that it ends with minimal heartbreak.
I hope that the upcoming sex post will make it worth our putting up with reading all this self-brainwashing.
My God, the foreshadowing is killing me…
Did she give you that speech? It sounds awfully similar to “open up” and “let your love out”.
This is lovely and cute really, a part of me would date you just for that post. On the other hand, I need to puke…right now
Nothing quite so lovely and cute as mandatory sex with someone whose best feature is that it won’t take a piano case to bury him.
i can’t wait for harlan to lose his virginity! this is so exciting!
Harlan, if you really want to have sex with her and want to actually wear the pants in the relationship (you did buy a new pair, right?), then you need to take charge and choose when to have sex with her, not the other way round.
Looks like Harlan needs an intervention for deprogramming. He’s starting to sound a little Stepfordized.
I am impressed by what Harlan is doing right now. He is making an effort to change because he wants to. I’m cheering him on!
Every train wreck needs its cheerleader and we’ve got Amy.
You said that her arm hair gave you the willies. What made you change your mind? The reason you are getting overwhelmingly negative comments (other than the fact that all people are jerks) is because of your descriptions of Bertha. Instead of telling us she is “attractive in many ways” and then proceeding to tell us she isn’t a fat, hairy man, perhaps you should list the things that you genuinely like about her. Is she caring, intelligent, funny? Do you share a similar sense of humour, taste in movies? What do you have in common?
I wonder if the reason you are unable to do that is because you don’t see any of those redeeming qualities in her. To you, she is just a random woman who has chosen to change you as her mission and you’re going along with it for the free life experience. You’re bored, unemployed and lonely. Those aren’t reasons to settle for the first person that comes along to fill the void. It’s not sustainable.
This isn’t an arranged marriage that you have to learn to accept. It sounds to me like you aren’t choosing to be with her specifically as much as you are choosing not to be alone and she’s the only person in your life right now who is willing to put up with your antisocial tendencies. And we’re all like that a little bit. You’d be far better working on those issues as a single guy than with a woman who seeks to control you. Trust me, I used to be that woman.
This is ENTERTAINMENT, I want to see Harlan fuck Bertha. Geez, that’s exciting.
Add another cheerleader to the trainwreck squad! I’m with Amy!
Just want to fuck her? Yeah, but I guarantee he won’t.
If he figures out tonight’s the night, he’ll go out to refill the super-bucket of popcorn, sprint to his car, speed home, throw his computer, two shirts, and a pair of underwear in his car and move to a different city. Maybe he won’t even take time for the underwear.
Make no mistake. You may have made me your third man, but my mother made me the seventh son.
Please allow me to point out two things that are not a coincidence:
1) Harlan’s name, when he posts in the comments, does not appear in italics.
2) Once in a while, another name appears in regular, non-italic text.
3) Comments from non-italicized people are ALWAYS
… supportive of Harlan.
(sorry… posted too soon by accident)
Oooo, Dan, very observant. And I enjoyed the suspense after the “ALWAYS” - it was like a little commercial break.
Erm, I think that the non-italics are the people that include their website. Perhaps they’re supportive because they don’t want other people to leave nasty comments?
I’m not sure I’m always supportive of Harlan. I think it’s as simple as italics=no website, no italics=website. No?
I’m supportive of the greatest entertainment value and run hot and cold in support of Harlan. It’s fun to play it both ways. So I think if being supportive of Harlan was the criterion for italics or no, I’d be italics. Good theory though Dan.
Moshizzle, you may be on to something there. On the other hand comments can be moderated. It’s not just a matter of concern about nasty comments. If you’re commenting with a link you’re less anonymous and have a reputation to consider.
Harlan, I can’t wait to hear how the date went!
The suspense is killing me! H, just tell us how Bertha did in terms of ‘his’ balancing act during sex? Where you able to hold that huge ass in place?
Oh yeah and did ‘his’ orgasm include eel-like substances oozing from several different orafices?
Eww, once again I just grossed myself out.
fuck harlan, he’s a totall asshole. I hate him truely. he’s a liar. a cheat. he increases the price of pants for all of us.
nope. i’m still in italics.
Hi Amy, I checked your website. I enjoyed looking at the sushi, the interesting cheese dishes and your references to your Jane Austen book club! But somehow, your photo didn’t look anything like what I expected. Life’s full of wonderful coincidences. Celebrate your humanness!
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Amateur.
Amateur.