Job Interview
Posted by harlan on 18 Mar 2008 at 04:40 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
My head feels like it’s going to explode. Part of me wishes it would, just so I could be done with this incredible stuffy nose and sinus headache I’ve got from this cold.
I went in for a job interview yesterday afternoon. I figured I didn’t need to dress up much, because the place isn’t paying that great. So I went wearing khakis and a white shirt.
I had planned to wear a tie, but I was incredibly uncomfortable when I buttoned the shirt collar. Too tight!
As soon as I got into the lobby, I wished I had bought (or otherwise acquired) a new shirt, because I was the only one there not wearing a tie.
I talked with three different people, and only one of them mentioned the dress code, and it was in the form of a question: "Do you have a problem with wearing a tie to work?" I said I didn’t, even though I have never heard before of IT having to dress like management.
Anyway, the first interview went really well. It was a technical interview, and I started enjoying myself. He was throwing "what if" scenarios my way and I could tell they weren’t hypothetical. This guy was really trying to get me to solve problems they’re having right now.
I went to the whiteboard and started diagramming. I kind of lost track of time. It felt good to be thinking, solving puzzles, doing what I’m good at.
The second interview was with the first guy’s boss. This interview was laughable. "What are your greatest strengths? And what are your weaknesses?" Gee, sir, my greatest weakness is that I sometimes work so hard that I forget myself and pull all-nighters, often accomplishing my yearly objectives in half the time expected. This causes angst amongst my co-workers.
"Give me an example of a work situation in which you failed, and what would you do differently?" Well, sir, I once only exceeded my productivity goals by 40% and while that still brought the average of the team up, I felt it wasn’t as good as I could have done. I blame the malaria from which I was suffering, and now eat citrus fruit religiously.
Seriously, where do these guys get these questions? Does anyone really get trapped by these?
The third interview was with HR. I’m not sure if this was one of those companies where the first interviewers send feedback to HR right away so HR knows whether to dig deep or get rid of the candidate, but if so, I did well in the first interviews, because the HR guy (I was really glad all three of my interviews were with men) asked a lot of questions that led me to believe I could expect an offer before too long.
But by then, I had been in the building for about 2.5 hours and my Dayquil was starting to wear off. My nose started running, and I hadn’t brought tissue. I excused myself to go to the restroom, blew my nose (my ears popped when I did this, which felt fantastic…am I the only one who really loves the sensation of having your ears pop?) and came back.
Even as I sat down, though, I realized I had forgotten to bring some extra toilet paper, just in case. Shit.
Of course, within two minutes my nose started running again. I knew I couldn’t wipe my nose on my sleeve, so I excused myself again. This time I remembered to get some extra tissue.
Before long, of course, my nose started running again, so I…as discreetly as possible…blew my nose.
And then my nose started bleeding. Not a big gusher of a bloody nose, just the kind of bloody nose you get when you’ve been blowing it non-stop for two days.
I excused myself a third time. In the bathroom, I pinched my nose for a minute and the blood stopped. I went back in and the HR guy immediately said that it seemed like I needed to get home and take care of myself and he had pretty much finished with his questions anyway.
I offered my hand without thinking and the HR guy said, "Thanks, but I’ve got a baby at home; I’ve got to be careful not to get her sick." I admit that the way he said this made me really like this HR guy. He gave me an honest refusal without being mean about it, but also gave a short clear explanation that made sense. I wish I could do that.
I figure that an HR guy like this will get back to me fairly quickly with a Yes or No.
I can’t tell whether I want this job. The job doesn’t pay as well as I’m used to and I hate the idea of wearing a tie. But I liked two of the three people who interviewed me, and the management guy at least was lame in a very conventional sense.
UPDATE: I was about two thirds of the way finished writing this about five hours ago when B. showed up. She said she was here to "take care of" me. Which meant that I had to lay on the couch while she talked to me about how she was taking the day off work for me, and then talked about her book club and the personality deficiencies of everyone in it, and then talked about the books she’s trying to decide between for when it’s her turn to choose a book…and I’m pretty sure it’s not even her turn until about nine months from now. And all this time, all I could think was, "What I really want to do is surf the web and watch TV and fall asleep when I feel like it." But she didn’t let me do any of these things.
Finally, I told her I needed some Nyquil, after which I pretended to fall asleep almost immediately. She let herself out. I feel bad for deceiving her, but I don’t want company right now.
I am not sure whether that counted as a date or not. I can’t imagine asking, either.
Just checked email, nothing from the HR guy yet, and it’s been a full business day. Too soon to expect anything anyway.
Take the job. Any job. It will give you an excuse to avoid spending time with a repulsive trans-woman with whom you have nothing in common.
To know Harlan is to relish in the bodily fluids of life.
Like Asshat said.. Take the job even though it’s a paycut. Even though B sounded like a tranny in the previous posts, I still want to see you give her a chance. Don’t forget about the “celebrating the humanness” approach.
Was there anything interesting at the office you could steal?
Lock your doors. If you don’t want company and they come knocking, be very quiet and don’t answer the door. How hard is that?
Accept the position if it’s offered, Harlan. If it isn’t satisfying, you can job hunt again.
I’m sorry, but I do not like B./Bertha. First of all, as Donna suggests you could just lock your door. B. doesn’t have a key. Problem solved.
But honestly? You’re a grown man and you should be able to do whatever you want when sick. If you WANT to be coddled by an overbearing, intrusive woman just keep doing what you’re doing. But if not you can always decline a visit from her.
(As an aside, I don’t think we ever found out how B knew where you lived. I’m just curious. Did Richard just give the info out or something similar? Or did she take it upon herself to find out where you lived?)
This is date 3- awfully close to that 5th date. I kinda get the feeling it will be like reading recounting how they were raped or molested. I know you will try to get into it, but let’s be serious for a minute here. The situation + the woman involved plus your approach to these things + the way you really feel about her. But yea, let us know how date 4 goes
Follow up with a phone call or email to the HR guy. You did send a thank you email or note to all three people right? That’s appropriate etiquette, especially if you would like to receive an offer from them.
As for Bertha, now you have to decide if you want to be like every Average American Male (audio NSFW) and allow yourself to be led like a sheep into this “relationship” with a woman who neither makes you happy nor cares what you really want. Or are you going to step up and be the kind of human being that refuses to lead a woman on just because it’s the path of least resistance. I have a prediction but I’ll keep it to myself. Bucking the trend and all.
(If your comments don’t allow HTML, you can delete the link. I’m sure people can Google the reference if they care enough).
Well, there’s something with people who’ve been lonely for too long. They don’t really like to be with other people, at least not at first. It is dangerous and it is giddy, and it’s much easier to just accept yourself in your own world. And I think you would make a great loner with your cats and your fantastic second-rate literature. But it you really want to feel normal the best thing would be to give Bertha a chance. She’s being the nicest to you if you really think about it.
This whole barging into your apartment business is a giant red flag. Telling you how it is or is not going to play out. Sounds like she’s got some sociopathic tendencies forcing herself into your life. Is this what you want? Or are you just taking what you can get? I’ve been painfully lonely at times in my life but nothing is worse than faking it i.e. pretending to be asleep so she’ll go away. This lady demands an audience and in not in a good way. If you don’t make yourself heard now, you never will be. And ultimately, you will have to MOVE to get away.
I meant to point this out earlier but it slipped my mind. On March 15, you wrote “I just want to be left alone.” Ironic?
Maybe you should talk , be honest and explain to her the things that you don’t want or like at this stage of your life.
Hiding at your apartment, faking to be asleep, or just taking a job only to avoid her are not the best options.
Greets from France and good luck!!!
Was this the bank interview ?
Did any of the plants look good enough to poach ?
Run, run, run!
In another few weeks (days?), B. is going to start pulling the guilt trips. Just watch.
“I took a day off work just to take care of you. You should….”
OMG, The 500 phone calls after your first date should have been your first inkling that this woman is crazy and needy. She already thinks she is your girlfriend coming over to “take care” of you. Seriously get out before you are in deeper and you can’t get out easily. I have a feeling you’ll end up having to change your phone number!
And take the job. it’s easier to find a job when you have one, and unemployment is boring as hell!
You critic’s are all wrong. Think about the team these two would make. H could become an after-hours clepto using Bertha to gain access. And, just imagine what the sex will be like. I mean, Harlan is all “she has a strong will and a forcefulness that’s refreshing”. It’s so obvious that he’s gonna find nirvana when she beats the shit out of him (or suffocates him with her hairy ass). He says he loves it when “she hangs a little forward and stomps along as if she’s constantly regaining her balance” (I just need to say that every time I read this, I laugh out loud!) and that he finds her “combination of vulnerability and assertiveness appealing”.
Remember, this is already A REALATIONSHIP and honestly, a match made in heaven!
Again, GO H!!
Lilly, are you the one who’s supplying Harlan with the oxycodone that Leland mentioned?
If I were supplying H with anything it would be something a lot more useful than oxycodone. It’s almost the 5th date. Our man is going to need a bus load of Nair products and Viagra!
Lilly said:
“It’s so obvious that he’s gonna find nirvana when she beats the shit out of him (or suffocates him with her hairy ass).”
I almost peed in my pants.
@ Lilly.. I feel the same way. I think Harlen needs to explore this more. You never know what you could learn from B. She could be that other half you are looking for… maybe…
I’m with asshat and vince….Run while you still can -_-
–Seriously, where do these guys get these questions? Does anyone really get trapped by these?– I hate those damn interviews, specially the lets do a drawing of a person in the rain…i mean what the fuck? like I won´t be dumb enough to be working under the rain, duhh.
Anway, good luck getting the job.. :)
The sad truth about relationships.
http://www.fliggo.com/video/NTtenBNg
Moshizzle, your video made me want to hang myself in the garage and get it all over with.
I can’t comment on B yet as it seems I need to read some more posts. But on the job interview front, at least you knew how to respond to the Q’s! You got a one up on the dumbasses who were your competition who probably didn’t even fathom what their strengths and weanesses were.
As for accepting, if you get an offer (I hope you do!), I reckon that you should really weight the pros and cons. Taking a paycut is a really big deal. Don’t do it! Keep looking for more stuff!