I Kick Ass at Racquetball
Posted by harlan on 29 Feb 2008 at 04:15 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
I’ve had a membership at a nearby health club for three years, during which I have been to the gym five times, I think. I would have quit a long time ago, but it’s one of those places where they lock you in for five years by enticing you with a good rate. Which sounds fine, of course, when you’re all energized and committed about getting in shape. It doesn’t seem like quite as good of a deal when you realize two years into it that you’re paying an average of $480 for each time you go.
I don’t know why I went today. I didn’t have anything else to do, I guess. I literally had run out of things to do.
So I went to the "challenge" court today, where you don’t have to reserve the court. Anyone can come over anytime and challenge whoever else is there. Whoever wins gets to stay in the court.
I haven’t played racquetball in at least nine years until today, but it came right back to me. No, it more than came right back to me. I played better than I ever have. I may have, in fact, played racquetball today better than I have ever done anything before. For sure better than I’ve ever done any sport before.
I beat the guy in the court when I was the challenger, two games straight, then I beat the next two challengers to come in, both 2 games straight. By then I was tired and ready to go home.
A strange thing happened while I was playing, though. The first guy I played, I didn’t really have anything to say (I lied when he asked what I did for a living; I didn’t want to say I was unemployed). But the more I won, the more talkative I felt. By the time I finished beating the third person, I was having this strange almost out-of-body experience: "Who is this chatty, friendly guy who seems to be controlling my body?" I thought.
It makes me wonder: is the reason I always feel isolated because I am constantly "losing" to them? I lose in relationships, I lose at work, I lose with my family. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel particularly friendly in any of those situations (and those situations make up almost the entirety of how I interact).
One thing is certain: I am going back to play more racquetball tomorrow.
Isolation score (it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these): 0!
How did you avoid the locker room? Did you just go home all sweaty and stinky?
“Now, if I were ever to get naked in a gym, I’m afraid guys might think I was in the wrong locker room. I have no fear of being naked in a gym locker room because I vowed I’d never go in a locker room ever again . . . .”
Ok so this was the most inspiring thing I’ve read on the last many weeks. It absolutely made up for the lame posts about your weekend at your brother’s. Keep it up, Harlan!
way to go Harlan. Maybe it was the endorphins from the exercise.
p.s. or maybe it it was the winning that gave you the high.
not to be a downer or anything, but once on vacation I kicked ass playing darts for two days straight. It was dumb beginners luck though and I’ve never been able to re-create that stellar performance.
i wish i knew how to play racquetball
em- so does Harlan. In his next post will be the usual confession that he has lied to us once again. Harlan, going from totally sedentary to kickin’ ass playing raquetball for hours is just another of your little fantasies. Revised isolation score: 10.
ps Asshat- nice call, strong work.
Asshat, yes, I went there in sweats with my shorts underneath. Afterward I put the sweats back on and went back home, where I could shower without getting some communicable disease on my feet. Public showers are disgusting.
Dave: Golly gee, you know me so well, maybe I should just turn over the blog to you to write for me.
Or maybe you don’t know anything about racquetball. Have you ever played? You don’t have to be an olympic athlete to be good at that game, you just have to know how to position yourself well on the court and hit the ball so it forces your opponent to a bad spot in the court. There were guys there who looked like they were in worse shape than I am but still gave me a good game.
Has anyone else gotten as tired of this “Harlan is so predictable, here’s what he’s going to say next” game as I have? I’ve noticed people are right about 05% of the time. When they’re wrong (95% of the time, for those of you who aren’t good with math), they don’t say a word. When they’re right (5% of the time, for those of you with short memories), they crow about it like I’m entirely predictable, and that this is somehow a proof that I must not exist.
Have you noticed, Dave, that your act of predicting what I’m going to say next is much more predictable than I am? The irony is exquisite, is it not?
I knew you were going to say that.
Good for you Harlan! I’m glad u had a good time. Keep going back!
Harlan, my shower at home isn’t much of an improvement. You could always buy some flip-flops to wear in the shower if you really wanted to shower with your new-found health club buddies, but I hopefully predict you won’t want to do that.
I knew Herb was going to say that.
How about saying, “I am between IT jobs.”
Maybe he would have been your new boss if you’d been honest & opened up. Sometimes it isn’t what we know, BUT who we know.
Stick with raquetball. More benefits & less expensive than poker !
glad to hear you had a good time! now you’ll have to renew your gym contract, tho. :)
That’s a good one, “between IT jobs”, and you could also say you are a free-lancer. That gives them a great chance to discuss jobs they might know of.
Have you thought about going to a headhunter?
it’s all about confidence that makes you feel more talkative. winning those games helped you forget about all these other problems that keep you from getting out into the world. or whichever cliche you want to use.
keep it up, man. kick some ass and take some motherfucking names.
7 card stud spielen
Find regles poker omaha play 7 card stud online
free internet casino game internet casino
Finally no download video poker jeux des casino
no credit payday loan credit loan no payday credit dollar loan no payday ten
No matter multistrike video poker los mejores poker promociones
casino card game casino game online
Go strip poker flash online casinos roulette
comparatif poker online
In other words juegos de casino on line online poker site
online poker texas hold
At the download nokia 3360 ringtones calgary payday loan
le poker gratuites
free jamster ringtones
Some la r