I’ve had a membership at a nearby health club for three years, during which I have been to the gym five times, I think. I would have quit a long time ago, but it’s one of those places where they lock you in for five years by enticing you with a good rate. Which sounds fine, of course, when you’re all energized and committed about getting in shape. It doesn’t seem like quite as good of a deal when you realize two years into it that you’re paying an average of $480 for each time you go.

I don’t know why I went today. I didn’t have anything else to do, I guess. I literally had run out of things to do.

So I went to the "challenge" court today, where you don’t have to reserve the court. Anyone can come over anytime and challenge whoever else is there. Whoever wins gets to stay in the court.

I haven’t played racquetball in at least nine years until today, but it came right back to me. No, it more than came right back to me. I played better than I ever have. I may have, in fact, played racquetball today better than I have ever done anything before. For sure better than I’ve ever done any sport before.

I beat the guy in the court when I was the challenger, two games straight, then I beat the next two challengers to come in, both 2 games straight. By then I was tired and ready to go home.

A strange thing happened while I was playing, though. The first guy I played, I didn’t really have anything to say (I lied when he asked what I did for a living; I didn’t want to say I was unemployed). But the more I won, the more talkative I felt. By the time I finished beating the third person, I was having this strange almost out-of-body experience: "Who is this chatty, friendly guy who seems to be controlling my body?" I thought.

It makes me wonder: is the reason I always feel isolated because I am constantly "losing" to them? I lose in relationships, I lose at work, I lose with my family. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel particularly friendly in any of those situations (and those situations make up almost the entirety of how I interact).

One thing is certain: I am going back to play more racquetball tomorrow.

Isolation score (it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these): 0!