The bad news is that I had a miserable time visiting my brother’s family and I’m sick with a chest cold. The good news is that I have something to write about that doesn’t involve laundry habits or angry emails from ex-coworkers. Where do I start? I’m tempted to jump ahead to the most interesting things that happened, but I’ll go in order.

I had my brother’s address and a printout from Mapquest, so it should be an easy drive, right? Wrong. I think Mapquest is a deeply insecure program. When it doesn’t know where the destination is, it makes up fake directions because it doesn’t want to look stupid. I got lost and ended up sleeping in the car that first night (yes, I left late; yes, I lost money). After asking around, I finally figured out where Chuck and Becky live. 

They live in Amish country, but they aren’t affiliated in any way with the Amish, other than bartering goods here and hiring cheap labor there. One misconception I had about the Amish is that they’re a clean, hard-working, industrious people. Hard-working and industrious, yes. Clean? No. Maybe there are other Amish communities who run a tighter ship, but these people live in squalor.

Anyway, Chuck and Becky live in a poorly built home on five acres. There are eight other families who belong to their “intentional community,” and they all live on different sized lots with different structures. On one end of the spectrum, a family constructed a gorgeous country home next to a pond stocked with fish. On the other end, several families still live in old beat up trailers. Each family has different assignments. In theory, they should be able to get all their meat and produce from their own community, but the problem is that people are people. It doesn’t take long for a utopia to turn into dystopia. Still, despite all the in-fighting and laziness and bitter feelings, it seemed like a decent way to live. I’d even consider moving to a place like that if I were a completely different person.

First dropped bomb - My brother had no idea I had been mad at him for years. When I told him I was willing to forgive him, he claimed he had no idea what I was talking about. When I asked him why he thought I wasn’t returning his calls and refusing to see him, he said he thought I was me just being me — he thinks he’s the only sane person in the family. Then he said how glad he was to see me. I wanted to smack him.

Second dropped bomb - Becky claims that she and I were never dating. She says we were study partners and friends, but that was all. And here’s what’s odd about it. I think she genuinely believes her wild fabrication. After all these years, she’s been able to alter her memories somehow. I guess if you tell lies long enough, you start believing them. By the way, Becky has gained weight, but she looks as gorgeous as ever. Wow.

Third dropped bomb - Becky and Chuck are deeply religious people who have an open marriage. They have a name for their religious group and they told me who their guru is, but they refused to say much about it because they aren’t allowed to. They’re also into some new self-help program called The Secret. They wouldn’t shut up about that.

I just realized that this blog entry is going to be way too long if I keep going, so I’m going to end here and do this in multiple segments. I’m going to take a nap and write more when I wake up.