No Talk, No Eye Contact
Posted by harlan on 07 Feb 2008 at 10:23 am | Tagged as: talking to the void
Coming in to work today, I noticed nobody has said, "Hey" or "Hi Harlan" as they go by. Everyone avoids eye contact, finds something else to look at, and keeps moving.
Richard sent a "WFH" (Working from Home) email, so he’s not here either.
This has got to be about that stupid joke yesterday.
I went by Elaine’s office a couple times, but the door’s closed and I can’t bring myself to knock.
I’ve gone by the HR woman’s office, but nobody’s there. I think I’ll go there again right now and see if she’s back.
I just realized, the only words I’ve said aloud today have been when I’ve been talking to myself.
Isolation score: 10
Perhaps you’re on super-secret probation while HR conducts their review. Take Moshizzle’s resume advice.
shit, i wish my job was like this…..
if i hear someone else ask me if i heard about Britney or saw American Idol last night, i’ll fucking scream…..
For the love of God man, just go apologize. Tell her you know how it feels to be humiliated and that you’re sorry you made her feel that way. Then leave. You don’t even need to wait around for her response. Just do it.
Take action! You have a lot of people rooting for you!
This doesn’t sound good, Harlan. They’re probably sharpening the guillotine right now.
Hopefully, Jane didn’t report you to HR when you ‘borrowed’ her plant. If she did, it’ll be two strikes against you in less than two months. Was Jane in this meeting, too? That could be poison.
I hate to say this, but I’ve seen people fired for less.
I don’t know if you’re better off apologizing to Elaine or just keeping your mouth shut at this point. Maybe Ruby’s right–I don’t see how it could make anything worse.
If I were in your shoes I’d consider writing a formal letter of apology and send a CC to HR. I’m much better at articulating myself in writing than in a face-to-face situation, especially when I’m in a pickle like this. Maybe it’ll work for you, too.
If you go this route, print it out and hand deliver. Don’t just shoot her an e-mail.
Apologize. No matter what else happens, it’s the right thing to do.
That was really rude and hurtful, what you said. Perhaps you thought that lowering yourself to try to fit in with the frat boy types was a good idea. It wasn’t.
What Ruby said.
I don’t get all these comments. What you did was not so terrible, considering that you really didn’t want to hurt her. All that happened was that the circumstances did not work for you at all. Now, Harlan, just go and apologize, is the only thing to do. You won’t get fired.
Actually, Talita, over 15,000 sexual harassment cases come before the EEOC each year. A large number of them are “sexualized environment” claims that involve sexual joking that is a whole lot more inoffensive than our host’s hooter-enhancement snickering. Harlan should clam up for now, call a lawyer and take his or her advice.
So Talita, if someone said what he said IN PUBLIC to you, but that they didn’t mean to hurt you, would you be hurt? I would. It was not professional. He didn’t think before he spoke. He needs to practice speaking to people, but not in a way to hurt other people. It’s not that hard.
It’s not for you to say whether Elaine should be hurt - it’s for her to say, and from what Harlan said about her leaving and keeping her door shut, she’s hurt. It wasn’t “circumstances”, it was HIM.
Part of the trouble with the world is that people don’t own up to their mistakes as they should. They say, ‘it was the circumstances’, or ‘I didn’t mean to!’ or whatever. I don’t think you should encourage Harlan to think that way.
Harlan - You could always play on her “sympathy” - go to her, tell her your sorry for being out of line, but you find her so beautiful and smart that you just said something stupid. True or not, it should soften her up a bit.
Harlan, don’t listen to Heidi. Trying to cover up a potentially offensive remark that could be taken as sexual harassment with another potentially offensive remark that could be taken as sexual harassment isn’t a good idea. At all.
She might think you’re trying to make an advance on her, which at this point is probably the last thing you want her to think.
Vince is right….plus most women have pretty good bullshit detectors. Be sincere.
I have to disagree, Talita. Maybe in the grand scheme of things it was just a dumb thing to come out of Harlan’s mouth, but in the context of his working relationships and employment status, he’s in some seriously deep doo-doo.
This isn’t just a ‘he said, she said’ situation. A whole roomful of people heard him. If Elaine pushes a harrassment suit against him, she’s sure to win. Even worse, if she sues her employer, she’ll probably win as well.
Harlan’s employers are no doubt painfully aware of this, and might show him the door just to appease Elaine and cut their potential losses.
Like I said, I’ve seen people lose their jobs over stuff less serious than this.
Harlan, if you do feel a need to apologize, DO IT IN WRITING, and CC the HR department. If you never heed anything else I say, please take this advice.
Ditto to what Herb said, but I’d hold off on the letter writing until I called a lawyer.
I wouldn’t think anyone would sue Harlan personally unless he has the assets to make him worth going after. Few do. I doubt that Harlan has much to lose other than his job. I doubt his homeowner’s insurance would cover this, so he’s probably judgment-proof.
A harassment action against the employer only works if the employer is aware of the harassment and then fails to act against the harasser. So if a manager was in the room, which the event description implies he or she was, the employer may have no choice but to cut Harlan loose. Seriously, humble public apology might work. Might not.
Harlan’s probably a lot more worried about his job, and future jobs, than his personal liability. I can’t see how Harlan’s employer could claim ignorance if the event happened in an open meeting. Harlan’s probably an at-will employee and the snickering probably violated all sorts of company policies. The HR manager not only has to worry about protecting the company from private suits, but also EEOC claims. If I ran the HR department and found out about it, he’d be cleaning out his desk.
Anyway, if he’s going to do a bunch of public apologizing in a letter, he better be very careful what he says to avoid digging a deeper hole. Nobody loves lawyers but sometimes they’re unavoidable. Call one who concentrates in this area.
I just had a thought. A premonition, if you will. Harlan will get fired tomorrow (do it on a Friday). Then the weekend will be spent moping, and Monday will roll around. We won’t hear anything for several days. Then, maybe Thursday, for Valentine’s Day, he’ll post a long (maybe short, surprise me) incoherent message about how life isn’t worth living. Then he’ll say ‘goodbye’ and we’ll never hear anything until…..
they reveal it as a fake-out.
Am I right or wrong? Time will tell. Remember, you heard it here first.
Chico Marx said it: If you have trouble in business, hire a lawyer. Then you got another problem, but at least you got a lawyer.