Overstepped My Bounds
Posted by harlan on 06 Feb 2008 at 12:39 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
I’ve had a good couple of days. Too good to continue, that’s for sure. And I think this blog’s to blame.
Ever since a bunch of people started reading this thing and leaving comments, I’ve started thinking something new: that I’m interesting and funny, and people like to hear what I have to say.
You can tell, I’m sure, from the beatdown I gave Ashley and my jokey posts the past few days that I’ve been relaxing and basically turning off my "think about it before you say it" filter.
Shit, what a mistake. If everyone were able to magically take back — completely erase so nobody remembers — three statements in their lifetime, what happened today would have been one of my times.
First, here’s a little background. One of the people in my team, who I’ll call "Elaine," obviously had a boob job around the Christmas break. That is, she took a "vacation" around the middle of December and came back to work in January with these comically enormous knockers. Seriously, they’re porn star jugs.
Today, we had the team’s weekly status meeting, where everyone goes around the room and explains where their projects are and tries to make it sound like everything’s going to plan, and you’re really busy but capable, and otherwise fool the manager into believing you don’t mostly surf the web all day, every day.
So I’m sitting by Richard, whispering sarcastic little comments about people, as people take their turns. When it’s Elaine’s turn, she says something like, "If Ops doesn’t deliver the schema I’ve spec’d out by this time next week, their prospective customer email push program is in very big trouble."
And I whispered to Richard, "As big as her boobs?" You know, just a throwaway reference to her boob job.
The trouble is, I had the bad luck to say it right at the moment all the talking had died down and the blower for the heating vent had turned off.
In other words, every single person could hear me as clear as a bell.
Everyone looked at the table. Elaine’s face turned red and she folded her laptop shut and walked out of the room. I looked over to Richard, hoping he’d give me a clue how to get out of this, but he was looking down and away.
So I said, "I’d better go tell her I was joking," and I left too.
But she wasn’t in her office, and she hasn’t been in there the five or six other times I’ve walked by.
Other than that, I’ve been staying in my office with the door closed. Richard hasn’t been by. Nobody else has, either. Not even my manager.
I need to remember: this is real life and anything I say can bite me in the ass. I shouldn’t joke. I shouldn’t goof off. I shouldn’t think I’m funny. From now on, I’ll remember to keep my thoughts to myself.
I am such a jackass. I wish I had never been born.
OK, let’s tweak this: tell the truth, but always be kind as well.
If I may:
“BEFORE YOU SPEAK ASK YOURSELF: IS IT KIND, IS IT NECESSARY, IS IT TRUE, DOES IT IMPROVE ON THE SILENCE? ~ SAI BABA”
Sorry about the caps….
This does NOT mean obsessing about every syllable that comes out of your mouth - you have to stop doing that. It means getting used to being a nice person. That might mean practice - no offense. Good luck. I find it difficult, myself.
dude…we’ve all been there. i was in a meeting with my boss and one of my co-workers was wearing a fairly revealing top. we were talk about a press event that we were planning and my boss asked her about the “breast breakfast.” ahahahaha!
Dude, you are so in. Chicks that get cosmetic surgery have zero self esteem. You just knocked her down, and she’ll be desperate for acceptance and validation from you.
When you see her next, tell her that you think her boobs are fantastic and that they really seem to have made her more confident. Then tell her you feel bad for picking on her and that to make it up to her, you’d like her to come over to your house for dinner and to taste some grapes.
There’s never been an easier score than ‘boob job chick.’
andy, you reminded me of a funny thing my boss said about 100 times during a big presentation.
There were probably 50 people in the audience and my boss was talking about a new process the company was developing; he got stuck on the frase “whip it out and whack it off.” as for describing part of the process.
The first couple times he said it, it didn’t register, but he kept coming back to that frase over and over and over. After about the 5th time, I started hearing snickers, and then the joker of the group got involved.
The joker was sitting very close to the front of the room and everytime my boss said ‘whip it out and whack it off,’ the joker would turn around and give us a bug-eyed-open-mouthed look of psuedo-shock.
Maybe the funniest part of the whole thing is that a woman who was above my boss and had never shown any human attribute, such as a sense of humor, started laughing harder and harder. Everytime he said it, she started laughing more until she was crying and actually left the presentation.
My boss was completely oblivious and had to be told about it afterward.
I’m so glad to see that the topic has changed to tits from, well, grapes. Seriously, though, Harlan, you better be hiring a good lawyer to defend you in the upcoming sexual harassment suit.
She actually is just really really upset because she wanted you to notice them in “Private” - not in front of everyone. Now go hunt her down…tell her how nice they are…maybe touch them a little bit so you can ooooooh and aaaaaaaah with enthusiasm….and then quit your job before they fire your a**!!
no more boobs for you.
Oh yea…and on a more sour note….my friend “Tiny Tits Tina” who has made over 100 porn movies..is very offended by your comment “Seriously, they’re porn star jugs”. She will be contacting you personally about this. And she can get pretty damn scary when she is mad. Just a warning.
Everyone appreciates nice tits, it’s probably not that big a deal to her.
But incase it is, just tell her you have a small dick, or better yet show it to her, and I’m sure all will be forgiven.
Sincerely,
Your #5 fan!
Queenie…nice play on words….
“Not that BIG a deal to her” LMAO!! Ok…so its not as funny as I think it is…but it made me laugh!
Don’t worry about it! :-) Everyone has
been in this position. Its not the end of the
world. Let her get over it!
I dont think I have ever been in the position where someone made a comment about my big boobs. hmmmmmm
Thanks Scott, nice that you ‘get it’.
Maybe you can speak to the Tool on my behalf, he/she has vowed to never respond to me again (because I called him/her a tool!) and I’m really upset about it.
Must go write about the loss of Tool in my diary - or maybe I’ll just check out the mirror and appreciate the fabulousness of my tits instead!
That always makes a girl feel better!
Well if it makes you feel better Queenie…I will be more than glad to assist you with admiring the fabulousness of your tits. : )
And I will speak to the tool for you…any time!
You’ll do no such thing Scott. Go do your homework.
Darn it Mom…..you always spoil all my fun!!!
My homework is for Health Class though….and we are studying the human body….so can I still use Queenie as a study guide???
No, there’s nothing healthy about Queenie.
You aren’t going to make me use Dad’s blow-up “Marie Osmond doll” are you???
Not a problem with me Scott, If I were the universe I’d show everyone my tits!
Of course, I’m just one of a billion+ girls on this stinky planet, so I have to reserve them for special showings.
Your health class sounds like a perfect fit - where should I send the pix??
btw, before you agree did you see the pic that “Tewlie” (a.k.a. “Tool”) posted of me?
it’s on yesterday’s small dick rant…
Get off that damned computer and go clean your room. Now.
Just because my baby is riddled with STD’s and cheeto stains, don’t mean she ain’t the picture of health!
And I think I’ll be reporting you to the authorities, too, Miss Queenie, or whatever your name is. You should be ashamed of yourself for exposing yourself to children.
Queenie…I dont need to see the pic. I know deep down in my heart that you are a beautiful wonderful person and that you are are more than just one in a billion+. And even though I have heard the words “Baboon” and “Hairy Scary” and “Evil Wench” along with your name….I just put fingers in my ears and sing “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA” at the top of my lungs.
So send me that pix…or come see me in person!! :)
Mom…SHUT UP!! Do my homework…clean your room….pop your nasty zits….kiss Aunt Chuck like he/she asks you too! I AM TIRED OF YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!
You are so grounded, mister.
Dear Queenie’s Mom, I love her for who she is. She can have actual crabs crawling down her legs…and cheeto stains bigger than her pit stains….I DONT CARE!! I love your daughter!
Oh Scott, if you tell me you’re a dwarf with a big heart, I’m all yours!
(sorry, but I have quite a specific remit when it comes to love).
There will be none of this stuff on my poor boys blog. Now take your Redneck, Lawn chair commode, stinking butts and leave my poor boy’s blog alone. He deserves better!!
Oh Harlan’s Mom…if you only knew;)
Actually…I look more like a huge hairy Jabberwocky….but I have a big heart. Does that count??
And how did you know we had a lawn chair commode? I thought that was Uncle Jesse’s patent?
I think Harlan’s Mom is soooooooooo oblivious. But she loves her son.
Sorry Scott, I meant to say ‘hairless dwarf’.
Guess it’s just friends for you & me. Does that mean I have to pay you too?
Uncle Jesse?? OH NO!!! You mean my brother Jesse!!! AUGH!!!!! I hate small worlds!!!
I guess friends it is…. sniff sniff……
And no…you dont have to pay me. I owe you the world.
1. You are funny.
2. You’re timing was a little off.
3. You embarassed her. You must apologize.
4. We have all done this. It sucks but you’ll get over it. So will everyone else.
Figures. This always happens. I say we will be friends…and then she quits talking to me. Oh well!! Maybe tomorrow!
OK Scott, I’ll take it one chunk at a time. Starting with…Australia!
Criminals & sandy beaches, what more could a girl as for?
hmmmm, have to get back to work now, i’ve spent a good 10 minutes here today already and they notice when I’m missing from the assembly line.
Sounds good!? I think! :)
Me too…at least for another hour…and then I get to go home. See you tomorrow.
Same Scott time…Same Scott Place!
Scott, don’t be such a premature orator! You’re so sensitive…water sign?
fyi, I have to sneak onto this computer & make sure my boss doesn’t see me so I can’t always respond right away.
Or more like, the pee on of the pee on 3 pee ons under my actual boss. Fucking slave drivers all of them.
Ok, later Harlan, I mean Scott. Love you both!
Leo actually. But I seem to be a premature everything these days!!
I understand. Me…I am stuck at my computer all day.
And honestly (Not Harlan’s kind of honest though) we are not one in the same. Really! :)
No offense Harlan!!! That came out wrong! LOL
Good sign!
I often find that Leo’s have some kind of lionesque features (like big claws or bushy manes)…and now that I think about it, you are a much better writer than Harlan, and he has quite a streak of girly sensitivity so I’m guessing he’s the water sign. Freak.
Well, tell your mom she’s a ho and I’ll catch you later. Must go speak to my subjects, being a queen & all.
Bitch.
Thanks! I have big claws….and although I am hairy…its just not on my head.
And I do have a girly sensitivity side to me….Like a Lesbian trapped in a mans body….but I do have that MANLY thing going on as well.
I will tell her.
And you keep on being majestic!!!!!
I will BITCH SLAP YOU if you call my daughter that again HO!
Harlan, I don’t know what has been let loose on your blog but it’s scary.
I think that Queenie and Scott as well as a few others are just as sad and lonely as Harlan.
JessyJames…..You couldnt be more right!! At least about me. But still…what Queenie and I have is so real!
What the heck is Queenies Mom talking about? Its like she is Schizo and she thinks she is me?? WOW! Creepy!
Queenie, why don’t you go shear some sheep or whatever you people do down there and quit talking to Scott. You can see what a “mediocre passage through puberty” did to that goofy Harlan and now you’re about to screw up Scott the same way with all that talk about your tits. Honestly, like I don’t already have enough to do around here, picking up after that kid like I’m his goddamned maid or something. Sometimes I can’t even imagine how he sprang from my loins.
THINLY VEILED DISGUISE, TOOL!
Apparently ‘tewlie’ won’t reply to my slutty daughter directly anymore so is now pretending to be me. Entertaining, not.
and yes Jessy James, me and Queenie & Scott ARE terribly lonely. You would be too if you sat in front of your trailer day after day watching the world go by, never having to move because your genius uncle made you a ‘lawn chair commode’.
And while I enjoy the good life (although lonely) my princess Queenie is confined to a bed in her room because she’s just too dang big to move!
You have no heart, you big meanie identity thief!
Now take a long, hard suck on my ass and fuck off while you’re doing it!
Mom, I am surprised that anyone ever got close enough to your loins to even conceive me. You are such a BITCH! Leave The Majestic Goddess alone.
She can screw me up…she can screw me down! I dont care how she does it….as long as she does it.
And you need to go find another blog to lurch on. I found this one first.
Scott, my dear subject, haven’t you quit for the day?
Let’s pick this up tomorrow, shall we darling?
I have some social shit to attend this eve. & while you’re reeeeeeally entertaining & I love volleying with you, I gotta run. Or at least walk briskly.
ttfn!
HRH Queenie
My Dear Queen, I am out of here in two minutes!!
Sounds good!!!
Have fun tonight. I will miss you!!!!
Your faithful one,
Scott
how many of these comments do you suppose are harlan?
Oh someone stop stop already, or stop - if that’s your real name - stop stomping all over our fun. Talk about a killjoy! Somebody stop stop!
Those comments just made my day. That and the snow outside which is probably going to cancel my lectures tomorrow.
Harlan, follow Leland’s advice.
I don’t know what is more painful to read–the account of the gaffe at work or the Scott & Queenie exchange. I feel for you, Harlan. Here’s a bit of wisdom that helped me get through a bad patch at work after one of my own social blunders: this too shall pass. It makes a good mantra to call on when needed.
I would really take the time out to apologize to Elaine. That’s the most you can do to salvage the situation.
Sorry if the Queen and I were comment hogs. Really I am. But we were having a moment. A really long…cool moment. Thank you Harlan. You are da man!
Harlan, DON’T let an incident like that come in your way. Don’t go back to the start.
Since I don’t think you are looking for advice, I just want to let you know that I hope you work things out. Also, I’ve read your entire blog from the end to the beginning (maybe I should have started at the beginning) and enjoyed it.
Thanks.
Everyone, I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with Scott and Queenie’s hijacking of my blog.
Scott and Queenie, you don’t get to use my blog as a stage for your exhibitionism. It’s not interesting, it’s not smart, it’s not funny, it’s not cute. It’s spam.
You’re on probation.
Harlan
No offence Harlan but I just read over the comments. Scott & Queenie are kind of funny and smart and you just sound pissed that they ‘re getting more attention than you.
i’m surprised that someone who claims to be a loner is turning away frineds. or is it just cuz they aren’t talking to you? you shouldn’t try and stomp on free speech like that either with your probation, afterall you started this blog and invite peiple to comment.
This is hilarious: this message wound up in my “moderate” queue, because — surprise, surprise, it came from the exact same IP address (the same computer) as the posts from “Queenie.” Amazingly, “MJ” (who, by some amazing coincidence shares the same computer as Queenie) thinks Scott and Queenie are funny and smart. And MJ, smart as she is, completely fails to understand what is meant by “free speech.”
- Harlan
Perhaps now is a good time to start updating your resume. First Jane, now Elaine. You’ll be lucky if they give you a third at bat. Everyone lets stupid things get past their mental filter once in a while and you’re always going to the be harshest judge of those stupid things. But picking on two female coworkers in two months just makes it seem as though you don’t like women. Fix it with an apology to everyone (not just Elaine) and move on. “Good judgement comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgement.”
Really liked reading your blog,seemed really sincere, and touching. Since you were nominated for a bloggie and lots more readers and comments. Seems you are writing for your “FANS”.
Not so interesting anymore.See Ya. Good Luck.
Probation? String’em up, Harlan.
On another note….Harlan, is your real name Eric? Because if it is, I know you.
why is my comment still under your moderation? are you some kind of commie and i’m not allowed to say anything that doesn’t favor you? Get off your high horse, Harlan. See ya and good luck is right. i hope you don’t win any awards, you suck.
Oh, look. MJ (aka Queenie) is using ad hominem attacks because I choose not to let her (him? whatever) overrun my blog with spam. Gee, I’m feeling super remorseful about that, Queenie. I mean MJ.
-Harlan
I was very self conscious about my augmention for a few months after I’d had it done. While I looked forward to the ‘new me’ when out on the town, going to work and being around all the people who obviously noticed the work and didn’t say anything (to my FACE, anyway!) was stressful.
If she is feeling anything like I was at the time, she was probably already on edge and your comment just made it all come out.
BTW: I went from an A to a C ‘overnight’, so there wasn’t much chance that things wouldn’t be noticed!
MC, I’m sorry my life isn’t entertaining for you in the exact same way as it used to be. I’ll tell you what: you go ahead and start writing about your life every day for three months and see if you find yourself getting bored by talking about the same part of your life every single day.
Asshat, MJ / Queenie is more interesting now that she’s coming to her defense as a different person. And people accuse ME of being fake.
Moshizzle, I’d be lying if I said I weren’t scared to death about losing my job because of the Jane / Elaine incidents.
Isabella, I will find a way to apologize to Elaine. I wouldn’t forgive me if I were her, though. I’ve been humiliated in public and there’s not much worse.
I think to call MJ/Queenie/Scott “interesting” is kind of an overstatement, Harlan, but you always were a cockeyed optimist.
Asshat, Queenie makes me feel better about myself. I made a huge fool of myself in front of a lot of people today, but at least I know that my IP address is recorded any time I post a comment in anyone’s blog, and that IP addresses don’t change just because you give yourself a different name when you post a comment.
Harlan, Once again…sorry if our conversation got carried away on here. Although it was fun at the time…if I have offended or bothered you…I do apologize. I would never do that on purpose.
This is your blog…not mine. Hope you can forgive me.
Thanks!
Scott
Yeah, smarter to use a proxy if you’re trying hard for anonymity.
Everybody plays the fool, sometime, no exception to the rule.
So i guess it’s not likely that this could be a SHARED computer used by more than one person, but its good to know you feel better about yourself!! There’s a whole bunch of us here who read/read your blog. I think “Queenie” was just having fun, nothing was said that should offend you personally, and your ‘outing’ the IP makes you seem kind of mean and ridiculous. But I will post a notice to avoid this site since you’re obviously bothered.
Good luck Harlan, you certainly have your fans.
I never outed your IP address. I just said I have it. As does anyone who’s ever got a comment from you on their blog. If I wanted to out your IP address, I could have revealed what it is and where you live. But I didn’t.
As to whether, nothing should offend me personally, Queenie (I mean “Adamant”)? here are a few things I found offensive.
Bye, Queenie. I hope you enjoyed your last comment. Which is to say, your IP address has just gone into my comment spam folder.
- Harlan
Scott, it’s fine. I’m taking you off probation. I know better than anyone how it feels to make a badly placed joke.
The irony meter just broke.
Posting to mock you and tell you that you aren’t real, only to be caught posting as someone else.
This explains the inability to refer to you by name though. She can’t even figure out her own.
I almost have that little pang of sympathy I feel for people like her with their mental disorders. Almost.
Well, in her case, not really.
I’m sure she is spending her evening googling “proxy”.
Let’s see who shows up tomorrow.
And like others have said Harlan, we have almost all had those situations. There is not much anyone can say that would make you feel better about it. Apologize. Realize a year from now it will be nothing more than something that makes you shake your head and say “I can’t believe I did that”.
Thanks! See you tomorrow.
I hope you don’t.
http://xkcd.com/379/
Oh, well, these things happen. Nobody’s perfect. Why worry? I was looking for a job when I found this one. I’m gonna hop on my bike and pedal till my tongue hangs out. Got to get my mind in tune with my body.
OK, back to the subject.
I lived with a girl who had major ‘enhancement’. She looked fantastic with her clothes on and a bra holding it all together, but let’s just say Dr. Picasso must have had a bottle of tequila before he started working his magic on her.
Not only are we talking major asymmetry, but–how do I say this–things just weren’t lined up the way they’re supposed to be. Turns out Dr. Picasso is down in Mexico. She wanted to save money, and she got what she paid for.
Anyway, the funny thing is this. She dumped me when she found out those nice half-caret diamond earrings I gave her for Valentine’s day were really zircons. She’s totally OK with parading her cheap plastic fruit around for the world to see but dumps old Herb when she finds out he’s just as chincy as she is. Go figure.
Well, that was eighteen years ago. I saw her a few months ago, and she looked like a Barbie that had taken a swim in a deep fat fryer. I guess I got the last laugh.
Like zircons, silicone ain’t forever.
Hey har - I’ve been gone awhile - sick as hell.
Richard still hasn’t came back?
Trolls gone wild here!!!