Do I Dare to Eat a Peach?
Posted by harlan on 30 Nov 2007 at 02:16 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
It sounds simple for someone like me — I hate the word “virgin” — to go to Las Vegas and have sexual relations with a prostitute. Before I flew out last week, it all seemed so easy. Just pick up a pamphlet, make a call, and wait for the Special Someone to show up at my hotel room. But what about my racing mind? And what about love? The idea of casually separating love and sex seems wrong on a sub-atomic level. Besides, I’d just end up making a fool of myself, getting charged extra, and then getting beat up by a pimp. No thank you.
I’m going to have faith in my ability to rise to the level of normalcy.
Isolation score: 9
Jim - (I don’t have a name for you, so I’ve named you Jim. If you don’t like it, you know what to do!)
ANYway. It seems to me that you have two different arguments going here:
1) Love vs. Sex. - Most of us would prefer Love With Sex. Certainly when it’s your first time. That’s the Ideal we’ve been fed by TV, movies and The American Way. In order to have my first sexual experience, I had to let go of it. You can, too. And it will give you the knowledge you need to help you approach a woman you truly like, down the road.
2) Making a fool of yourself/being taken advantage of/risking violent trouble. - I can only really speak to one of these. And that is the fear of making a fool of yourself. See, for those of us to whom the word “shy” applies (am I right, here? I am making an assumption about you), the basic trouble is that we have a distorted world view. The most important thing I ever learned about myself was that I thought that everyone around me was judging me. Actually, I learned, they are so wrapped up in their own Life Dramas that they barely notice me. Even when they DO, they barely notice me. And further, and even more empoweringly, Who Fucking Cares if they DO notice and judge me?? It doesn’t hurt me, in that it doesn’t cause me actual physical pain. I can’t even be sure it’s happened, outside of my own perception.
Am I making sense? I hope so. My point is, if you want to lose your virginity, Go To Vegas. Toss your luck to the Universe and trust. You may well get someone who understands and helps. And even if you get someone who just wants to get the money, you’ll still be one more step down the road.
As for the risk, well, I dunno. If I were in your position, I would go with an ad that looks expensive, and has some kind of authenticity about it. This would be no time to cut corners. Who cares if you get charged extra? (I’m assuming you can afford to have that happen, at least once). You’ll still get what you want and need.
And for heaven’s sake, go buy some rubbers. Again - the druggist has been there before. He doesn’t know you, doesn’t know your address, doesn’t know your Mother, fer chrissakes. ‘Kay??
P.S. I just went back and noticed your last line. My apologies. I was still responding to the Vegas line of thinking. There ARE girls out there who are looking for a “nice guy” (read: virgin). But you will have to go reach out to them, won’t you?
No brains. No brains at all. I just realized your name is right at the top - Harlan. Sorry about that “Jim” stuff.
love the J. Alfred Prufrock reference.
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