You always hear about how Las Vegas is this great place to find a prostitute, but I’m beginning to be surprised that anyone ever finds a prostitute there at all.

I got into Las Vegas about 10:45 at night Saturday and took the Casino’s complimentary shuttle to my hotel.

I went to the room’s phone book, and there must be 500 or more pages of Escort Services in the yellow pages.

I was not expecting it to be so difficult to figure out who to call.

After about two hours, I settled on a service, mostly based on the picture. I liked her outfit. Sexy, but not scarily freaky or anything.

But then I thought about how the conversation would go when I made the call, and I just couldn’t picture a scenario where I didn’t sound like a pervert. I just couldn’t do it.

I didn’t sleep at all Saturday night. I’d lay in bed, get my courage up, go to the phone, and then I’d back down.

By the time I had to go back to the airport, I was frazzled and just wanted to get out of this town. Also I felt a little bit gross from having watched the first few minutes of three different pay-per-view movies in the hotel.

So now I’m back home and at work, and I’m so angry at myself for not having the courage to make that call. It’s not like they’re not used to getting calls from people wanting their services, right? I mean, I can’t be the first guy to ever call a place like that for the first time. They wouldn’t laugh at me, right?

I’m going to do some research on the Internet, and next weekend I’ll go back, this time armed with the knowledge I need.

Isolation score: 10